Why couldn't the mute kid tell his mom the house was on fire? Casue he fell down the stairs and broke his hands...

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A Jew and a Muslim walk into a bar. They end up getting into a heated argument. After about an hour of back and forth they decide that each person has a valid point, agree to disagree, and go about there business.

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Roses are white, Violets are white, holy shit i can see the light.

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Q: Why are all black people fast? A: Because the slow ones are in jail.

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Why didn't the chicken not get across the road? Cause it's head got shot off by some drunk asshole

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Roses are OK, Violets do the trick, C'mon and let me whip out my Dick.

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-Why did the chicken cross the road? '' I dont know '' -Because it would cross the road and over to you. -Knock knock? '' Who's there?'' - CHICKEN!!!!!!!

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What do you call a dog with no legs? A dog with no legs

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Q. whats red and sits in a hairdressers? A. a baby getting its hair cut with a potato peeler

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what did the women with no arms and legs say to her daughter? go to your room.

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why was it sad that 3 men were crossing rail road tracks in a toyota and got hit by a train? they ruined the Toyota

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Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

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Why were the teacher's eyes crossed? She got kicked in the face by a mule.

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Peas

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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Person 1: Happy Halloween! Person 2: Hey, I'm Jewish

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Your mom is so fat she wears large clothes

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There are two cows standing in a field eating grass. The first cow says "moo", the second cow says "Thats funny, I was about to say that".

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Roses are red Violets are violet Why does it go like that anyways? ~Yasmin~

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What did the cow say to the other cow when the boy asked him for something to drink? Probably MOOO! Considering that cows cant say anything except for that

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Why was the girl crying? She got shot in the penis

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Well this is pointless.....

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Are you black? Kill yourself.

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops