A woman walks into a bar, and the bartender says "Yes ma'am?". She orders a gin and tonic, but the bartender had gave her two without realising, and so she pays for one only. She starts to contemplate whether to tell the bartender about his error or to just leave it and have a free glass of gin and tonic. However as she is a christian, gluttony is a sin, and she already had enough to drink today. However, she feels the need to have a relaxing drink today, because as she was on her job as a receptionist, when a customer tripped on the last step of the stairs behind her and broke his neck, dying instantly, which deeply saddened her. This later led her to indulge on 3 glasses of red wine in the staff room. She finally concludes after a few moments pondering, to not tell the bartender about his error, and pampered herself with two relaxing glasses of gin and tonic. Her dead, mutilated body was later found in the rubble of a car after a head-on collision with a truck.

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Why did the skeleton not go to the party? Because without the aid of various ligaments and muscles that would be attached to the average human being's skeleton, he was not able to move himself so much as an inch.

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I got bored today and decided to surf the web. Thank you for reading this

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was suicidal.

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Jim has five apples. He gives two apples to Joe. What is left? Fruit

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What's the difference between ?2 and and 74^3? ?-405242.585786

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The bears will win the Super Bowl

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What did the man order at KFC, in Miami? A face.

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The tall man says; How's theweather downn there? he's talking to smurf

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What do you call a black man who has been killed? A dead person.

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Your mommas so fat she jumped into the ocean and immediately had to start swimming.

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what do u call an elephant in a car? nothing elephants cant fit in cars

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what did the left eye say to the right eye? "eye" see you

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Hey, do you want to play the rape game ? NO! That's the spirit

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there was a Black and Mexican in a car who was driving? the cop

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CHUCK NORRIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!$$$$bOoBiEs

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Correct grammar and proper use of capitals on the internet. Oh yeah, and a horse walked into a bar. It didn't think much of it.

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No!

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Pete and repeat are in a boat. Pete kills him self due chronic depression. Repeat laughs his ass off

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what is the color of a burp burple

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Q: Why did the little girl fall off the swing? A: She didn't have any arms.

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Yo mama is so fat that her belly button reaches the door 15 minutes before she does- by Adam Chebali

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PENIS

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Q: Why does a zebra have stripes? A: Because Sarah Jessica Parker is a horse.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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