Q. Why were the children sad? A. They'd just been abducted by a dodgy old man in a van.

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Why couldn't the blind man see his friend? He was behind him.

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When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

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What's the difference between black and white people? One is black.

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Ben Affleck

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so a salesman knocks on a mans' door and asks if he would like to hear a salespitch but the man didn't answer he came back two minutes later and knocked and asked if the man would be intrested in some girl scout cookies and the man tore the door off the hinges.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did the suicide bomber say to the other suicide bomber? You're da bomb!

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Why did the boy fall out of the tree? He had a stroke.

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there once was a teacher who wouldnt shut up she just rambled and rambled and rambled ,untill one day i brang a gun to school and shot her ,she doesnt rambled anymore and i dont go to school anymore =win for everyone

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Why did the Muslim cross the road? He was on fire and he needed to get to the lake on the other side of the street to put himself out.

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What happened to the toddler on the swing? She was left unatended and was raped.

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9/11

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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Why did Todd have intimacy problems? He was molested as a child.

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What did Hitler say to his wife? It's time to go start the Holocaust.

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Why did the hooker fall out of the tree? Because she was dead

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Q: Why did Jimmy not have balls? A: A terrible, terrible sand paper accident.

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what did the soccer player say when he missed a penalty? damnit.

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Did you know that if you rearrange the letter in "Gill Lube", you can spell "Gullible"?

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like if u think princess kenny is the fairest maiden in all the land. if u dont, disregard this message.

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What does greg and Ian have in common?

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is difference the other is between.

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what does a baby sound like in a microwave. i don't know i was masturbating

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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