What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

Why did the cookie go to the hospital? Because he felt crummy.

What's worse than having you're leg fall asleep? Getting Polio

Michael J Fox may not be able to draw a perfect circle but he sure can jerk off like a champ

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

A kid a jew and a child molester walk into a room . what happens next? Nothing there in a room.

What did Helen Keller say to her friend? Nothing. If you didn't know, she was deaf and blind so she had to use Sign Language.

Why 't the blonde dial 911? Because phones haven't had dials on them for at least 40 years or so. She can however punch it in on her keypad.

When a fat lady walks by what do u think? R u fat or pregnant

Why was the woman crying? Because I hit her with a bat.

knock knock! whos there? me! me who? thats right! whats right? meehoo! thats what i want to know! whats what you want to know? me who? yes, exactly! exactly what? yes, i have an exactlywatt on a chain! exactly what on a chain? yes! yes what? no, exactlywatt! thats what i want to know! i told you--exactlywatt! exactly what? yes! yes what? yes, its with me! whats with you? exactlywatt--thats whats with me! me who? yes! Go away! knock knock.....

what is worse than finding finding an apple in your worm? Finding your peanut shells in your peanut.

What does Pluto and a creamsicle have in common? Neither of them are a planet.

A Horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks the horse, "Why the long face?". The horse didn't understand English, so he took a shit on the floor, and left.

why girl die cancer

Why was Helen Keller depressed? She was deaf and blind.

I once did __________ (went to Hawaii, drank a whole gallon of beer, etc. ), but then I woke up. Works with anything, and people will laugh.

why do elephants have such flat feet.....? from all those damn trees they have been juming out of....

How many Terry Pratchetts does it take to change a lightbulb? To get to the other side.

How do you get a black person out of a tree? Tell them to come down

A man with no legs walks into a bar. Just kidding...

A man was wacking it and then his internet went down he then cut off his own balls then his internet came back

Knock Knock I have a door bell It's broken Oh

Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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