A man walks into a bar and sees two girls making out. He orders a drink and leaves.

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a man walks into a bar with a poodle stuffed halfway up his rectum... WHY ARE YOU WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE!? MY GOD! THIS MAN HAS A DOG UP HIS ANUS!

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

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Roses are red, yup.

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Your mom is so old that she most likely will die soon.

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I know a kid named Ruslonia. What type of name is that?

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what did the pizza say to the bread? nothing pizza cant talk

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a Dyslexic, Agnostic, Insomniac stayed up all night, wondering if there really was a dog.

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Why was the woman angry with Santa Claus? Because he kicked her hands.

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So a man and his wife were in a horrible car accident. The man died, so why isn't the wife mourning his death? Because she is also dead. But, do you know who did mourn and cry over this horrible tragedy? Their children, other family members, and friends.

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How do you get a black kid to sleep? A cup of warm milk and maybe a lulluby should do it.

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Q:What the difference between a piano and a guitar A: Nothing, there both instruments and i lied about the difference

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Why was billy bad at telling jokes? Billy was sexually abused as a child and humour was never really part of his life

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Knock knock. Who's there? Your mom. Your mom who? Its your mom now open the danm door!

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Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Getting a girl pregnant.

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Why can Michael Jackson no longer moonwalk? because he's dead.

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A princess kisses a frog to transform it into a prince.. She is soon arrested for committing bestiality

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How do you keep children off your lawn? Touch them.

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Whats white and can kill you if it falls out of a tree? A refridgerator

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Q.sam is 18 years old, why can't she get her licence? A.because Sam is a lost dog on the street

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Why did they save the man in a burning building? To arrest him for arson.

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What do you call a black doctor? Doctor.

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Why did the schizophrenic chicken cross the road? He had to go to the clinic, the poor dear.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops