What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? One if part of the four main food groups, and one is not.

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Q:Why did the baby cross the road? A: It was stapled to the chicken

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What do you get if you pour water over a firework? A wet firework

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"Smithers, I'm home!" "What, already?" "Yes."

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What do you call an African-American picking cotton and harvesting wheat. A farmer.

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What's bloody and has wheels? The Holocaust I lied about the wheels.

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A jewish man trips and breaks his nose

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am ADD Bird

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Hobos are like Obama they want change.

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How did the little boy fall over? He was tripped up by his alcoholic father.

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Why was the black man in Jail? He works there as a correctional officer.

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A:Whats the air speed velocity of a swallow? B:What an african or English swallow? A:Well I don't know that.

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Q: What's the difference between a child dressing as a ghost for Halloween and a real ghost? A: About a tablespoon of arsenic.

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A russian, a jew, and a black guy are walking down the street. The midget trips and knocks into the jew who in turn knocks into the black guy. It turns out that they all know each other from high school. They ended up going out for lunch and drinks and it actually turned into a great day.

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Your mama is so fat. Just look at her.

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What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

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Your moms so fat, she needed repruductive surgury.

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Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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Whats the difference between a Mexican and a bench? One is a human being and one is an inanimate object that people enjoy sitting on.

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What do you call a girl who has recently been raped? Dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road??? Suicide.

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What's up with women with there jewlery it's there's best friend,but a black man's best friend is reames..

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What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

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Your in Thailand on a Elephant ride... at the end you jump off but uncle jack is still on the elephant and the elephant wont let him off.... Do you help your uncle, Jack off the elephant?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops