What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Tom buys his wife Mary the latest Eco friendly car. The car is said to get well over 100 miles on a tank of gas. A week later, Tom is stunned to learn that while Mary was driving to the supermarket the car ran out of gas. The tank was full and Mary only drove 5 miles. How is this possible? Mary was involved in a horrible car accident. The gas tank immediately emptied and set fire to Mary and her baby.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

thumb_up thumb_down -20

My, you you... SEDUCER! XD, and there I go proving your point by going uppercase XD

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Jane: The house is supposedly worth $ 6 million Jack: No way! The figure is made up.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you create an antijoke? Story written by Danny and Patrick

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the ocean say the other ocean? Nothing, bodies of water are incapable of speech.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

mangos mandarins mushrooms mustache :{

thumb_up thumb_down -20

A man walks into a bar. On the way home, he is driving, careers off the road and crashes. Lesson here. Don't walk into poles

thumb_up thumb_down -20

If a plane crashes on the boarder of Canada and The U.S.A- Where would they burry the survivors.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why is a duck? Because one leg is both the same.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Why didn't the cow go to the candy store It had diabetes poor cow :(

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Mahmy

thumb_up thumb_down -20

my goldfish never writes me back when i send him letters

thumb_up thumb_down -20

How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set a firework off on her face.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What did the Nazi solider receive on his birthday? A bayonet up his ass.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you get a Jewish boy for Christmas? Nothing he died in 1943!

thumb_up thumb_down -20

why are anti-jokes so funny? they aren't. they're stupid.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Did you hear about Billy's magic trick? No? Don't worry, it was a trick question.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops