Magic! Well not really, you see, people that are stressed have the tendency to remain far longer into the state of hypnosis because their body conciously and subconciously (I am typoing it, but I cant bother to type it correctly fuck it) seek out the state of peace that hypnosis gives more often. Anyway, I know another thing that helps relieve stress, cough... Now, did you know that if you push your nose upwards slightly, you will feel a finger between your legs? its because nerve endings are connected that way, give it a go.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

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Q. What do you say when a baby gets hit by a car? A. Lol fail

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How do you stop a baby crying? You don't. Just walk away.

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Knock, Knock? Who's There? Not Suzie

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What do a black lesbian, Adolf Hitler and Jesus have in common? They are all the subject of this question.

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Q.what is the diffrence between a jew and a pizza A.pizzas dont scream in the oven

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Penis

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Whats the differents between a red farrari and a dead baby? I dont have a red farrari in my garage;)

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whats yellow and cant swim? a bulldozer,

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What is the gay guy thinking about? Penis

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This joke might just be dumb enough for YOU to find funny

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Whats worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple

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There were 3 women, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead. They all had different colors of hair because hair color varies depending on genetics.

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What do you call a man with no arms? A: A Man with no arms.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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What's the difference between an alligator and an argyle sweater? There are far too many conceivable differences between the two objects to be able to give an actual definite variance between them.

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Life is like a box of chocolates. Sometimes you get the shitty coconut ones.

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Anti deep thoughts, by Fabian Monge'. The other day while parked at a stop light i was looking in the rear view mirror at the person who was blowing his horn at me. I then realized that while i was looking back at him the light had been green for a while. I then thought that i had better drive forward because i was holding up traffic, and that it was very selfish of me to waste other peoples time like that while wondering what was going on behind me instead of what was happening in front of me. In the time it took for me to come to this conclusion, i had wasted another few seconds of someones time. How very selfish of me.....

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"Hello, is this the Krusty Krab?" "No, this is Patrick."

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Knock knock Who's there? To To be continued.

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There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

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"This is defamation!" proclaimed the Fox, as he sat in the panels of the courtroom. "I attest, with full honesty, Your Honor, that never have I said any of the allegations the two defendants have quoted upon me." He looked with contempt at the Ylvis brothers, who sat at the other end of the room. "I say, Your Honor," he continued, "that I never, ever in my entire life, said 'Gering-ding-ding-dingerdingerding', to which I am willing to testify."

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My, you you... SEDUCER! XD, and there I go proving your point by going uppercase XD

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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