There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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Why did the deer cross the road? The overpopulation of man has caused an expansion of construction into the habitat of the deer and it has required him to occasionally frequent human populated areas.

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Why was the Irish Cop happy to see the Mexican family killed in a accident? Because the Lopez family were a family known for generosity and selflessness. It came as no surprise to anyone who knew Steven Lopez and his beloved family that they were all organ donors and not only that but Shelly Lopez, Steven's oldest daughter had blood type O negative (the universal donor). Officer McO'Brianiganly's wife is dying in the hospital in need of a kidney transplant, doctors have given her just weeks to live. Now, thanks to unfortunate events for la familia Lopez., Officer McO'Brianiganly and his wife can live a long happy life together, just as they always imagined.

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What do you call the offspring of a gerbil and a hamster? Whatever you want.

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What do you call it when an Arabic man gets shot? Murder.

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knoc knock! who's there? poo on! poo on who? you!

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Two goldfish are swimming in the ocean. One says to another, "I don't think we will be able to survive in this salty environment".

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Knock knock. With the invention of doorbells, knocking has become almost obsolete.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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Why did the girl fall off the swings? Because she had no arms.

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Why are trees green? I have no idea

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How do you kill a blonde? Throw a fridge at her

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Roses are red, violets are blue, i got a boner, from looking at you

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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Knock Knock. Who's There. Teenage Pregnancy

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why was the blonde confused? because she was born with a low IQ making her mentally retarded.

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What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

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Q: What's purple and eats desks. A: My dog.

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why did jim die? he had cancer why did jim have no hair? it started to fall out when he was 20 and now he is bald at 30 years old

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What are blacks scared of? The kkk

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Why is it when birds fly in a "V" shape one side is longer? There's more birds on that side.

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why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

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i like having monkeys lick peanut butter off my nipples

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why did the boy fly away because his mum shot him out of a cannon

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops