Roes are red Violets are blue I have a potato Let's make pie

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What did the coin said when it got flipped ? Nothing, coins do not have sufficient requirements to be able to talk like we humans do.

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It was okay, then Alice my friend and a nurse insisted (she can be a total bitch) I take a painkiller, of course that messed up my focus completely and threw off my hypnotic suggestion which I use to shut down the pain receptors. Ironically I cannot seem to shut off my allergy to dust. Oh, yeah it was the standard bullshit Mensa test, ten patterns or something, oh and while I am terrible at trivia, I am actually much smarter than a fifth grader, I mean one kid told me he was smarter because he could do math better than me and he could, so I choked the little bitch to death, who is the smartest one now?

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Whats worse than getting raped by a giant scorpion? Getting raped by a giant elephant.

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Why did Sarah fall of the swing, she had no arms. Knock Knock Who’s there? Not Sarah.

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How do you get 100 babies into a bucket? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.

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What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean? A tragedy almost unparalleled in marine history.

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what's small, red and sits in the corner? A naughty strawberry.

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There was a man posting an anti-joke... He had no life

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Get out".

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A man with a white bed sheet on his body and head grimaced at a black man. He said to the black man, can you help me with my ghost costume? Something in the back is poking me and it hurts.

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whats worse than the holocaust? nothing

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Sally!

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A guy walked into a bar. He got drunk. He hit a small child with his Suburu and was charged with a DUI.

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Why couldn't the boy hide his penis? Circumcision.

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot.

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What's the difference between a boodle and a scoodle? Ladoodle!

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Roses are blue, Violets are red, I have down syndrome, my favorite color is potato

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I suck at poetry. Nice tits.

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What did the monkey say to the other monkey Monkey can't talk

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Gas prices are so high, I've had to resort to walking and riding my bike.

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Whats the difference between a pizza and your opinion? I asked for the pizza

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A Jew, Muslim and Mexican all die of cancer

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What do you say to a hamster? 42 and weasels

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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