How did the dinosaur come out of the water? Wet.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, the little midget is coming for you. If you don't run and if you don't hide, you will probably be stepped on because of my incredible big size.

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How do you define an unsatisfactory kitchen? It won't have a woman chained to the oven.

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What's the difference between Christians and Jews? The Holocaust. The Holocaust is the difference.

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A man walks off the top of a very tall building. Why did he fall off? Because he was blind

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What do you call a black man approaching your car in uniform whose name happens to be Darius? Officer Darius.

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Justin with a hat.

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How many hookers fit in your bed? 12, if you have a king-sized bed, and 8.7 if you have a queen-sized bed.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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Do you want icecream, Björn?

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Lad: Whats that smell Girl: Nothing Lad: That is right nothing now get into the kitchen!

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mary had a little lamb it's fleece was white as snow and everywhere that mary went it did a massive shit

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What did the black guy say to the other black guy? We are both black

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Why does no one like fat people? Because of Jesse Ziegenbein

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Boy it's sure cold out today. Die

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Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To be eaten.

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Why did Suzy fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms! Knock knock! Who'z there? Not Suzy.

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Q)A man and a women are hiking on a mountain trail. A bear appears. What do they do? A) Die.

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What's black and white and enforces the rules at football games? A referee? Wow you're really smart.

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Why shouldnt you take the virginity of a 14 year old? Their pre-frontal lobe is not developed enough to sufficiently judge the affect of this action on their life.

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hey jimmy! hey bob -.- jimmy, pls pls explain how to do this.. ): see your mom? yea... do it like we did her (OOOHHHH!)

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what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

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Why are all the dinosaurs extinct? Because you touch yourself at night,

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops