Three nudists, a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead walk into a bar. No one finds it particuarly odd because the three are conscientious and wear appropriate clothing in public places.

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What is green and has 4 wheels?... Grass, I lied about the wheels

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An man walks to a bra

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What comes after 23? 24.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Nick Oh hi Nick come in

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Knock Knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Hello, I am Sergent Henry Orange. I'm afraid your husband was shot down by an enemy aircraft. I'm sorry, he was a brave man.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I stole all your jokes, I stole this one too.

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Were do seamen live under the sea? A submarine!

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Where's the best place to gather black people to roleplay as prison victims for a documentary? Prison or the Graveyard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road---- because he's having financial and relationship related problems that make his life so hideously unbearable that he wants to kill himself and because he's a chicken and cannot overdose or hang himself he goes for the most viable option as to run across a busy street in hopes of getting smashed to oblivion by a car

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What do chickens, pictures and babies have in common? Nothing.

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What is the difference between you and a brick? A brick gets laid.

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what do an elephant and a mouse have in common? nothing

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What's worse than a terrible joke? A worse joke.

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Why was the Mexican man in the rich man's garden? Because he enjoys flowers.

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Why couldn't the blonde write the number eleven? She was paralyzed.

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What do you call the black guy with a gun a ski mask on? Tyrone, because thats his name.

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Why was the black guy in jail He was a jail guard

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What do you call it when you take cheese that isn't yours? Stolen bitch, your under-arrest!

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Why was the baker rich? Because he had a lot of money

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what is green an invisible? this cabbage

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Lawyers exist, are alive and despite all claims to the contrary, can withstand sunlight, garlic and the sign of the cross. They also have reflections and whilst they may eat black pudding from time to time they don't depend on blood as a source of nutrition.

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How many pencils does it take to get an A on a test? Actually it takes knowledge.

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three people come to a serial killers house. one was annoying one was immature and one was stupid he would put them all in the same boat. then he towed it into shark infested waters, sunk it and watched them speak their mind. the annoying one said "nah nah nuh boo boo you cant eat me!" the immature one said "im gonna ride one!" and the stupid one said "could you please tell your sharks to stop eating my leg? i need it to swim away from these sharks that are eating my leg." moral of the story: dont go to serial killers homes. they will most likely kill you.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops