A dog walks into a forest and sees a whale. The dog asks "aren't you supposed to be in the ocean?" The whale replies, "yes."

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what comes in tube and smells like toothpaste? toothpaste

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roses are red violets are twisted turn around bitch your about to get fisted

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why is there art classes so people can make beautiful pieces of art :)

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Why are some people so emotional? Because some their family were hit by a train and then died the next day of lung cancer.

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Q: What do you call a black man running for congress? A: Congressional Candidate

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Why did the chicken cross the street? I don't know really

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Shes got a big booty so I call her by her first name, women deserve respect.

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Did you hear about the kid from Oklahoma? No. Yeah, he died.

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man walks into a bar his lack of awareness means that he didnt notice the maintenance sign in front of him he falls in a 200foot deep hole and dies.

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a guy on the street throws a boy between 2 priests

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What does the thirsty butcher drink? Chocolate milk. Because he can.

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A casual web surfer logs onto a website and reads half a joke.

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A seal walks into a club.

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What do you call a creepy person trying to break into your house? A robber

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Once there was an ugly barnacle. He was so ugly that everyone died. The end.

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Knock knock. MAN: Who's there? HOOKER: The hooker you called for. MAN: Oh, dear lord. My wife hasn't left yet. I need you to come back in fifteen minutes. WIFE: Honey, who is it? MAN: It's the hooker I called for, but you haven't left. I told her to come back in fifteen minutes.

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Why didn't little Timmy get anything for Christmas? He was an orphan living on the streets.

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how do you find a ghost? shoot yourself.

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Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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Yo mama so fat that when she jumped into a pool she displaced more water than someone who was of a normal weight

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A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

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What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

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joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops