Why was the black man afraid of leaving his house? Because he has severe agoraphobia and cannot function normally in society.

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a man walks into a bar after a long day at work, and asks for a drink. he finishes, pays the bill and leaves a handsome tip for the bartender and heads home.

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Once upon a time, a handsome prince met a beautiful princess. They both fell in love with each other. They then got married and lived happily ever after.

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What has one head, three eyes and seven legs? A cow with a tri-pod rammed up it's arse. The third eye is a result of a birth defect.

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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Grandma got ran over by a reindeer. She died

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What's worse than an actual joke on anti-joke.com? Many things. Considering this is only one website among millions on the internet, and it really has no effect on what happens in the world, it really isn't a big deal in the grand scheme of life.

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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i killed a blind guy when he wasnt looking

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Why has Bugs Bunny got big ears Because he's a rabbit

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"Do you know the joke No me neither?" "No..." "Me neither..."

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Whats the difference between Rolf Harris and a pedophile Whoops I didn't quite think this one through

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How do you make a baby cry? You kill its mother.

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Why was the man "hanging around"? He committed suicide.

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Patient- "Doctor, doctor help me! I've only got 59 seconds to live!" Doctor- "I'll be there in a minute."

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what do you call a unicorn crossing a bridge? nothing there fake

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boner

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what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

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A sloth walked into the dentists he was confused

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where did little suzie go during 9/11 EVERYWHERE...

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Hey I just met you, And this is crazy, I've got dementia, Hey I just met you.

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knock knock whose there banana banana who well, since a banana is a fruit and not human, it does not have parents and thus no last name was given to it.

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If you're head weren't attached to your shoulders... you'd be dead.

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What's worse than finding a baby in a dumpster? Being late on your taxes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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