This is like another one: Terry is at work eating a cookie.. He drops his cookie. His co worker trys to pick it up, however he accidently stands on it. Turns out terry can keep a grudge, nine years later, he killed his co worker with a shovel.

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Why did the carrot jumped over the fence? It didn't. Carrots do not have the physical ability to jump.

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My childhood friend said she had a bad breakup with her husband (yeah husband), and that she needed a really stiff one. Come on! How was I supposed to know she was talking about alcohol! She did blush and smile after I pulled my pants down however, that`s like seven out of ten right? I mean I was just trying to help a friend out right? And myself, fine myself, but it will be a total win/win situation, you know... Those where you win twice? "Dont worry, Im not comming" *pewpew*

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What did the cannibal say after he ate the clown? I am not sure as the tragic situation occurred while the clown was hiking alone.

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This is SPARTA! SPARTA? THIS IS MADNESS! (kicks guy down well) What is hurt! Baby dont love me, dont love me, no more. Moral: The funny thing is probably that the line makes a lot more sense all of sudden does it not?

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A duck walks into a convient store and ask the cashier, "You got any bread?". The cashier immediatley responds, "No sorry, we don't sell bread." The next day the duck comes back and asks the same cashier, "You got any bread?" The cashier sighs and responds, "No, we still have no bread." After browsing for about three minutes the duck comes back and asks, "You have any bread?" The cashier, as pissed off as a beached whale, says, "NO! WE WILL NEVER GET ANY FRICKEN BREAD AND IF YOU ASK AGAIN I'LL NAIL YOUR BEAK TO THIS COUNTER!" The duck sways his head and looks to the ground, only to look right back at the cashier and ask, "You got any nails." The cashier says, "No." The duck comes back and says, "You got any bread?"

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Noses are red, Lips are blue, I have hypothermia, So do you.

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What do an octopus and a cat have in common? They are both multicellular organisms that are living creatures, and therefore are both sentient and can perform simple tasks and make simple decisions.

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Kanye West walks into a bar. As he is a very popular celebrity, he is recognized instantly. The patrons mob him, asking for pictures and autographs. He is in a pleasant humour that evening, so he indulges them. Some laughs are had, he buys lots of drinks, and takes home two beautiful women. Such is the life of a celebrity. ...but that still doesn't make him happy.

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how does a chinese chick check if she's pregnant? swallows a rubix cube and if it comes out solved shes pregnant

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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You know what's lame? A person who can't walk.

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what does the black man say to the white man? nice weather were having huh.

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A bison trots into a bar. The bartender says, "My pee makes bubbles in the toilet." Amazed by the urination fact, the bison explodes.

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Why is the black man in the ghetto? He is a cop and is trying to solve a murder that was committed a couple days ago.

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Your mother is so fat that when she sits around the house, she feels bad about herself but is too embarrassed to get a gym membership and work-out in public.

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My friend just phoned me from the Boston marathon. He was being taken to the hospital due to being injured by the explosions and had to have his leg amputated.

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*Knock, Knock* Who's there? George. George who? George Ronald.

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How do you break your fan in the summer You dont its hot and you need it

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Why does fowlerville suck cause everyone wishes they were black

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So a woman goes to the doctor for an ultra-sound. The doctor says I have good news. The woman inquisitively replies what is it doctor, the doctor replies ; Your baby is Dead.

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What did the man say to his wife. Hi

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why are balck people black because they are

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A black person tans and starts to peel, what do you get? A white person.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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