Why did the boy scratch his back? A:because it was itchy.

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Two tomatoes are crossing the road. Suddenly one of them gets hit by a car. He goes "AGH!"

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Q: What's worse than a pile of dead babies in a truck? A: A pile of dead babies in a truck with one alive in the middle eating his way out.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock (who's there?) Not Sally.

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want to hear a yo mama joke sure Your dad

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Haikus are easy, But sometimes they don't make sense. Not the case here, though.

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A man was driving down the road and was swerving, a cop stops him and asks him to walk in a straight line, believing him to be drunk. The man replies "I can't, I've been blind since I was a child."

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what do you get when a white man and a black woman have a baby? A baby

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What did the young man's clothes smell like after a long night of partying? Laundry detergent, it was quite pleasant

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm not good at rhyming turd

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1-1 was a race horse, 1-2 was one too, 1-1 won one once and 1-2 won one too

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Why did Jorge eat Larry's face? He was on bath salt.

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Q: whats worse than 10 dead babies in 1 trashcan? A: 1 dead baby in 10 trashcans

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Why did Jonathan choose to watch something else other than Geordie Shore? Jonathan is intellectual.

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What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

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What do you call something thats mostly made of wood, big, round and stupid A retarded version of the Knights of the round table

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What do you call putting a toad in the microwave? Animal cruelty.

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Father Murphy met Samuel Myer on the street. Sam it's been a month o' Sundays since I've seen you. You look propserous. How's the moile business? A snip better, Father, since we talked last. And thank you. For what, Sam? Well the last time we met you asked what I did with the foreskins. Well, here is the answer, my new business. What's this, a wallet. But so smooth, Sam. Yeah, Father, but when you rub it. Rub it, Sam? Yeah when you rub it it falls apart. And you have to buy a new one! Mazel Tov!

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There once was a woman from Ealing, Who had a peculiar feeling She went to the doctors and was consequently diagnosed with Chlamydia

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible to try out for his school's football team. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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What do you call a book of notes? A notebook.

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joke

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knock! knock! Whos there? Chris Hansen..

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A Man, a chicken and a horse walk in to a bar and sit down at the stools near the jukebox. The jukebox is playing Love Me Tender. The Bartender notices the man pull something from his pocket and hand it to the chicken who takes it in her beak and then turns to the horse and passes it to him. "What'll it be?" says the Bartender. "methamphetamines", says the horse ironically.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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