Q. Why didn't the man tell his girlfriend about his big lottery win? A. Because it was none of her business.

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what's worse, ten babies stapled to a tree or one baby stapled to ten trees?

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What did the racist southerner say to the snide lawyer? "I have AIDS."

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A man walks into a bar and notices a twelve inch tall man playing a small piano. He asks the bartender about it. The bartender explains that the pianist has worked there for some time, mostly performing on weeknights. The bartender also tells the man that he may be suffering some vision problems, as the pianist is about 5'8" or 5'9". Some time later the man visits an optometrist and finds out he has a severe case of astigmatism. "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "Banana who?" "Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "Banana." "I already asked ''Banana who?'' Is that your real name? Who is this really?" "Knock Knock." "You are upsetting me. I am calling the police now. Please get off my property."

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why is justin bieber so pale? Because he hasn't come out of the closet.

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What's the same about a duck-billed platypus and a duck? They both have a duck bill on their face... Duh!

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What do you call the people that ride on the upper level of a double decker bus? Passengers.

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Whats the diffrence between a white and a black guy? one of them is black

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you know whats worse than being cold? being colder

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Yo mama's like Darfur: Everyone feels bad for her, but nobody offers any substantial assistance.

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Your mom is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat outside, people notice a rather large woman who is enjoying the weather and wearing a yellow raincoat.

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Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

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What is the difference between a blond and a mummy? A blond has a brain.

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Q-Why the baby drop is lollypop? A: He got hit by a truck

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Why was it okay for the people in the hospital to laugh at the patient with narcolepsy? It wasn't. The patients were treated due to moral obligations. But the doctors that laughed had either been fired or warned, depending on if there were previous reports of exploitation of patients.

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Why did the black guy cross the road? Because he was late for a meeting

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one day a boy asked a Manican if it had a pulse it didn't

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Why did the blonde ask the doctor if she should get a new butt? She is insecure about its appearance and believes reconstructive anal surgery is the only solution.

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-How do fit an elefant in a refrigerator? Open the door and shove it in -How do u fit a giraffe in a refrigerator? Take the elephant out and put the giraffe in -If the king of the jungle has a meating which animal doesn't come? The giraffe because hes in the refrigerator -How do u cross a lake where aligators and snakes live? U swimm because they're at the meeting

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Two monkeys are sittin in a bathtub. The first monkey says to The second, "HEY! pass the soap." The second says to the The first monkey, "DUDE. thats not soap, its a typewriter!!!!"

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What's worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings. What's worse than two bee stings? The Holocaust. What's worse than the Holocaust? Three bee stings.

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Q: What did the racoon say to the cow? A: Nothing, because neither have the extansive intillect to speak in a manner that the other would understand.

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Two scientists walk into a bar. The first scientist says, "I'll have some H2O." The second scientist says, "I'll have H2O too." The bartender gives them both water, realizing that H2O2 is poisonous and that the second scientist must have simple worded his request poorly.

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There were three men in a race: Crap, Manners, and Shut Up. During the race, Crap fell and Manners stopped to pick him up, Shut Up kept on speeding. The police stopped him. Here is there converstation: Police 1: Whats your name? Shut Up: Shut Up Police 2: Wheres your manners? Shut Up: Back there picking up crap.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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