I was jacking off I don't use my hand tho, I just use my gf's vagiina

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Nero? You are alive? Holy shit! You are like so my hero! I love you man! I was so saddened to hear you where tortured and killed, but then I read about this "Axel Knight" and hoped it was you, it sure sounded like you! Please tell me its no joke, you are a hero around these parts, and we really miss you, honestly sir, is it true point zero has become some sort of utopia or are the painkillers making you a bit Hazy? I am Erica by the way, still with the order, but what is this about your empire?

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the black man eating fried chicken and watermelon? He was at home

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do 9 out of every 10 people enjoy? Gang rape.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

person 1: i have a good knock knock joke person 2: ok what is it? person 1: say knock knock! person 2: knock knock person 1: trollollollollollollo

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What happened to The Guy when he got pissed on he was wet

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you make a clown happy? You sucks it's dick

thumb_up thumb_down -19

You're on a bus and the driver is black, you're white friend turns to you and says, We're gonna have a race on the highway!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

save me from the nothing ive become

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the driver have when he got hit by another car? An accident.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Why was the lady afraid of cooking? Because her husband always beat her with a frying pan

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a bookstore with explosive offers? Barnes and Cher-Noble.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

guess what my weiner dog did last night? pooped in my bed

thumb_up thumb_down -19

84.52% of users disapprove of your post, plus or minus 3%.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How do you wake up lady Gaga? You poke her face

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Q: Why did the chicken cross the road A: Will Smiths rapping attempt was suprisingly not harmful to his career as he later played in blockbusters such as Independence Day, Men in Black, The Pursuit of Happiness ect..

thumb_up thumb_down -19

How you know when dislextic

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Roses are red Violets are blue Im bad with colours Nice tits

thumb_up thumb_down -19

what is long black and smelly the welfare line

thumb_up thumb_down -19

My lady, that is the backside of trust, I have decided to trust you, how am I supposed to feel about the fact that I believe to the point where I know that you mean everything you are saying? And that if you had any interest in backstabbing me, I would be risking my life, wife and friends. Do you not get trust? If you keep thinking like that, tomorrow you could be suspecting the mailman for being a spy, I can, and could tell you that I will cut ties with my employees, but then I would have you not only to believe me, but to support me financially, I do not need much, in fact, I need you to trust me, and if you do not trust me, what does it matter if I quit? You could accuse me for typing books that alter the mind (all books do), you could accuse me of having killed Nero and taken over... The point is, if you cannot trust me, then I cannot help you with what you ask, and if that is a requirement for our friendship to persist, then you are not looking for a friend, but for a employee.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A cripple.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

What did the orange say to the lemon? We are both alike but a differnt color

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock knock. Who's there? I'm sorry I don't know you but I think I might have run over your dog!

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Knock, knock ... ... ... Well I guess no one is home.

thumb_up thumb_down -19

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops