Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall, Humpty Dumpty had a great fall. Due to the height of the fall, one of his ribs pierced his heart and he also suffered extensive head trauma and internal bleeding due to the force when he hit the floor, where he lay in agony for several hours before dying a slow, painful death.

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How do you kill a blonde? Pull the pin and throw it back...then proceed to paint yourself green and throw forks at her.

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What's a fun place to visit on the weekend? Uranus.

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How many blind men does it take to change a light bulb? None. They are blind and do not care if it is light or dark in their surroundings.

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Tucker Rivera

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I am a mime

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someone says they've been "dying laughing"... no they haven't; they're quite capable of still breathing and functioning in every day life.

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Q: Why was the boy so sad? A: His parents were just killed in a car wreck, therefore orphaning him and his five brothers and sisters and leaving them with no money, food, or shelter due to lack of steady income and the fact that their house had been foreclosed on.

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Lol... (wow you made me type lol), "like it is nothing to be ashamed of?" Your eyes are really beautiful, honestly probably the most beautiful eyes I have seen... And no, I am not talking about your bewbs.

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whats worse than 10 babies nailed to a tree? one baby nailed to ten trees.

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Black guy something something. Anti-racist punchline.

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What's the Chinese guy's favorite color? Blue.

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You have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars. You both have the same amount of money.

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Who has no penis Religious Believers

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poop

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Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

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What did the wife get her husband after they had intercourse? A sandwich, because she loved him and knew he was hungry.

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what's bloody and sweet? A squashed mosquito sprinkled with sugar.

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Why are anti jokes so funny? Because they are not

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knock knock. "who's there?" dick. "dick who?" dick ferns.

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Today's Horoscope for Cancer: You have Cancer.

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Why didn't the women make her husband a sandwitch? Because she was struck by a car as a young child and was told she could never walk again. Her family couldn't afford a wheelchair so therefore she is bedridden all day.

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What do Mike Tyson's handwriting, the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles and your Grandma's apple pie have in common? Nothing.

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What did the man do with his cat? he threw it in the garbage because he didn't like it

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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