A man walked into a bar. I shot him

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Chose to describe yourself: Green thumb: Tall wealthy, good looking, intelligent man with a model wife, a ferrari expensivo, a hotel just for yourself. Red thumb: A below average piece of shit? Green thumb? Dont lie to me you piece of sh*t!

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Whats funnier than a pile of dead babies nothing child abuse is not a funny matter.

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with a kickline

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Why Cant michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? Because he is dying of Parkinson's disease.

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DUH DUH DUH DRAMATIC HAMSTER

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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Why are blondes so dumb? They aren't dumb they just have prejudice against them

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Two women were sitting quietly.

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- What's better than just sitting on a couch in a summerhouse with a bottle of wine and reading a good book? - An orgy.

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Keanu Reaves

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How long does it take to paint a house with babies? It matters how hard you throw them.

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What did God say to Abraham? Nothing, because God doesn't exist.

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Why were my arms so tired after I flew in from the coast? Because the stewardess, god rest her soul, failed to latch the door securely.

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A Jew walks into a bar, he buys it.

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Autism... is not funny at all, it is a serious issue in today's day and age and must be addressed and cured

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Q. What do you call a headless boy in a river A. A headless boy, in a river.

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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They say you are what you eat, but i don't remember eating a big bowl of sexy.

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What do you call a rich black person? A: Oprah

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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knock knock Who's there Rick Rick who Your wife's boss she got into an on the job accident and will never walk again... I'm sorry but your insurance doesn't cover the injury.

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how many babies can fit into a microwave i dont know i havent tried

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it wanted ti get to to other side. why did the medic cross the road? beacause there was a seriously injured chiken on the side of the road, it had been hit by a fat man on a jog

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops