A woman walks into a bar and asks for a duck. The bartender is confused, assumes the women has some sort of mental problem, and treats her nicely, as his sister suffers from Down's Syndrome.

Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

what is big white and hurts when it falls on you out of tree? A refrigerator

Q: What did the duck say to the other duck? A: Quack

What happened to the kid who brome his neck? He died.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, i have Alzheimers, Roses are red

How many dead babies can you fit in a telephone booth? Mmm, strange question for my HSC maths exam...

1

knock knock whos there micheal jackson too soon

Q: What do you call a girl who wears a tuxedo to prom? A: Comfortable with the way she looks.

What did the man say when he had sex for the first time "So how come I'm the one with the vagina"?

Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

What did the black man say when he waked into KFC? Can I use the restroom?

Who let the dogs out? Their owner because he had come to the rational conclusion that they were cooped up in their cage all night and were in serious need of relieving themselves and needed love and affection

Why did the Mexican man jump to the floor? He had a stroke.

What's worse than finding out your dad has AIDS? Finding out your little brother also has it, but you and your mother don't.

"Hey! Did you get a haircut?" "No, I just started chemo..."

What do you do when life gives you Oranges? You make lemonade and life wonders how you did it

A man arrives at his work late, his boss says "why are you late?" Then man replys "...................." he was dead.

What do you call it when an Arabic man gets shot? Murder.

Have you seen the flock of birds? probably not because they hit a window and all died at impact.

Jolly Rancher the particle beam is in the alpha quadrant and we are good to go.Please confirm receipt of this communique. Cell Leader Iqbal

What do you get when you cross Skyrim and Call of Duty? A video game that has similarities to Skyrim and Call of Duty.

What happens when you mix a platinum blond with a black kid? A young african-american child with un-naturally died hair.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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