A man walks into a bar. He suffers a fatal concussion and the playground is shut down by local police until proper padding is installed.

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Why did the trombone player have sex so often? Because he was hot.

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why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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How do you make a baby cry? Throw a brick at its face!

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You wanna hear a joke? Me too

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Where does a one-legged waitress work? Wherever she can get good health insurance.

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Why did the little boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a washing machine at him.

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your mom is so fat jesus couldnt even lift her spirits

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A terminte walks into a pub and ask is the bar tender here?

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John walked up to his dad one morning and shouted, "Dad, it's my birthday!" Dad said, "Cool, how old are you?" John says, "I'm seven!" Dad tells him to go downstairs and tell his grandpa. Johnny runs down and says, "Grandpa, it's my birthday, guess how old I am!" Grandpa sticks his? hand in John's pants and sticks his thumb into his anus. As he pulls his hand out, he pinches his penis. Grandpa says, "You're seven." John says, "How did you know?" Grandpa says, "I heard you tell your dad upstairs."

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What's the difference between camping and molestation? I wasn't taken camping as a child

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a grizzly bear in your apple

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Why did Billy drop his ice cream? The Holocaust.

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How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

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THE GAME.

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2 Scientists walk into a bar. The first one asks for H20, and the second one asks for H20 too. They both enjoy a refreshing glass of water.

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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a mexican, a asian and a black guy are in a car whos driving? your mom

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Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic team? They do, they just choose not to compete certain years.

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Why didn't the dinosaur cross the road. Because roads were not invented then dumbass.

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How do chinese people call the firemen? By phone.

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A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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what did the lion tell the jellyfish? nothing, both lions and jellyfishes cant talk, and even if they could the chances of a lion meeting a jellyfish are remote

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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