Doctor! Doctor! There is a fly in my soup! Moral: Huh?

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roses are red violets are pink your nanas in the cowfeild with a bottle of stink... not really shes long gone.

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Sidney was a man, but not just any man... He was a fishmonger.

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burn baby burn your nanas burning

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Why do you want to know? And what did the censor get? Okay okay you are not boring nor stale nor anything, please increase the effect of this thing, its not working very well when I try to.

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Your momma is soooo poor... I don't know how she is so fat

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Cannot tell, national security. As far as I care we are friends, therefore I cannot continue chatting with you for a while, its gonna seem pretty damn suspicious, I wont be repeating myself. Except again, do not worry, we will take care of this, and if not, I will contact you, you are not in any danger for the mean being, whoever are against us are looking for "Nero", not you, and I am pretty damn safe. By the way, I never lost an eye, but your "wiz" revealed himself by sharing that information, that part was the only ploy as far as I care, and it was necessary for everybody`s survival. Do not worry friend, I will call you sometime, but I recommend we stay off touch for at least 3 months, and that you stop using this site.

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Did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off, how is he? Well you see, the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off...He's dead. I..um..he's straight up dead. I'm sorry, I don't know what to tell ya.

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Two monkeys are sittin in a bathtub. The first monkey says to The second, "HEY! pass the soap." The second says to the The first monkey, "DUDE. thats not soap, its a typewriter!!!!"

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A man with a barbie doll walks into a bar. He goes up to the bartender and says "I bet you $100 that I can turn this barbie doll into a beautiful lady". The bartender laughs and says "Okay." The man takes out a brush and begins brushing the doll's hair. Seconds later the man has a seizure and falls to floor a dies. It turns out he was a drug addict and had a fatal over dose. The bartender never got his $100.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? Sasquatch. Sasquatch who? ROAR

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Why didn't Susan go to school on show-and-tell day? Because she's dead.

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a black hispanic and asian man jump off a cliff they all die and their families morn their deaths

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Q: What do you call a nun in a wheelchair A: Handicapped.

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What did the octopus say to the squid? Nothing, considering these two species can't speak.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have altzeimer's, Cheese on toast

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Want to burn 3000 calories in under 5 MINUTES? Take a store bought pizza and put it in the over for as long as you want. Just watch the calories burn away in a puff of smoke!

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Bill had two options the red truck or the blue sedan. Your mother is a whore.

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There once was an old lady who lived in shoe. She had so many children, her uterus fell out.

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How did the guy feel after his wife died? Pretty shitty, I'd imagine..

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A Japanese man, a Canadian man and a French woman walk into a bar. They do not converse because they don't speak the same language.

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why is your mother dead? because i killed him.

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Whats more sad then four black men in a car driving off a cliff? The man they stolen the car from doesn't have car insurance.

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Why did little Jimmy drop his ice cream ? He got hit by a bus.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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