A man walks into a bar, he now has a mild concussion

Abbie im pretty sure your birth certificate is an apology from the condom factory

What did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? were lawyers

What was the cancer patients last wish? For the pain to go away...Yolo...-Avery Scott Vartanian

Why was the guy tired? His titties were too big

A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "Why the long face?" The man replies, "I was born with an extra chromosome."

what do friends and trees have in common? If you hit them with an axe multiple times they fall over

Why did the KFC worker dislike his job? He was paid lower than minumum wage due to the plummeting economy.

What's brown and sticky? Molasses.

Bin laden walks into a bar oh wait he's dead.

why cant dinosaurs talk? because they're all dead

what happened when Bob told a joke? Joe laughed.

Why are objects in your mirror closer than they appear? Because they are closer than they appear.

what happened to the fish that got washed ashore? it died due to lack of water-borne air particles.

So a guy with a machine gun walks into a bank, makes a deposite and leaves.

Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

anti-joke.ru - russian style

how do you get a blonde to stop following you? file a restraining order.

"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Doctor" "Interrupting Doc-" "You have Cancer'

A thought for the day: Life is like a game of chess. In the constant struggle for power, control and safe positions it makes no difference whether one plays white or black. As long as everything is planned and one stays a few moves ahead, everything will work out. Just don't annoy the queen, or she may send some very irate knights to fork you or a bishop to flank you. [L]

A guy walks into a bar. He meets a girl and they have a great time. He calls her the next day and their relationship continues for many months. Eventually they get married and have children.

You always hear of the 9/11 stories where people who work in the World Trade Centers were late that day or home sick or whatever. My mom also worked there. It was a normal morning, got up to make us breakfast, got us to school on time, the whole bit. After having to do all that stuff, she actually got to work on time, and she died in the attack.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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