Roses are red Violets are blue Your whole family is dead And now it's time for you!

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Q: why can't women drive? A: because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

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Why aren't there any painkillers in the jungle? because of the unethical and unscrupulous practices of big pharma

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what did the teacher say to the students when she was talking about the solar system The sun is very hot. At the core it is 15 million degrees Celsius or 27 million degrees Farenheit. Using a magnifying glass, we can see the very hot heat and the light of the sun. Please do not do that because it can hurt your eyes. This makes the light very bright and the heat is so hot it could start a fire.

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Whats worse than bitting into a apple and finding a worm? Being the worm who just lost nearly half his whole house because some jerk decided to eat an apple on the ground, whom after eating the apple destroyed the worms self-esteem by making the comparison to the worse thing possible. Or being raped by Zeus in the form of a worm.

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Knock knock Who's there? Banana? Knock knock Who's there? Banana Knock knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Orange you glad you don't have cancer?

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue If You Bend Over Some More I'll Eat That Booty Too

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What starts with S and end in H-I-T? shit.

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Why wasn't Hellen Keller a good driver? She didnt get her driver license...

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mom and dad went into the bedroom after a long day at work the fell asleep

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What did the midget say to the other midget? "We're midgets"

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You wanna know what's totally out of this world? The moon.

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A black man walks into a bar. The bartender says "I wont serve you." The black man says, "Why? Is it because of the color of my skin?" The bartender says, "No, its because your wearing a suit and on the front door it says no people in suits are allowed." So the black man took off his suit and was kindly served.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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If your fighting an octopus on mars how many lamps does it take to repair a dog house? Nine because a toaster cannot ride a bicycle.

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What dod the boy with no arms get or christmas? Nothing he can't open them!

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What do u call a muslim A infection to America

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If the joke below mine says something about a mom its from adam he sucks ...

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What did the ant do? I don't care you whore

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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dry handjob

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Knock Knock Whos there Boo OWWW YOU ASS WAT THE F*%^ (crying)

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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why am i so sexy? I was raised by a dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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