If life hands you lemons you're probably a hippy because you know someone named 'life'

69, Is funny because the numbers are backwards

What did the little girl say after her dad hit her? Nothing. She was a month old and died instantly.

Where do you find a vegetable? Where you left him

President Donald Trump

The first train go fowards at 250 mph, and the second train takes a left, how many pancakes are on my rooftop? - The answer is purple because aliens don't dribk coffee

Nero, I have 30 million dollars left, lets split them and leave ground zero behind us, I know it would make me happy to share them with you.

Roses are red, Violets are blue, Keep talking shit bitch, and I'll come for you!

What happened when the black woman moved to the front of the bus? There were no seats available but everyone was very nice about it. She also asked for gum. Somebody did have gum. Which was nice.

What do you call a black guy driving a plane? A co-pilot

Steven hawkings shook my hand

matt has ebola...funny right!?

Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

Q: How do you make Helen Keller cry? A: Casually remind her that she is both blind and deaf.

What starts with p and ends in orn? Popcorn

what did the aboriginal kid get for christmas? your bike.

A family walks into a talent agency. Talen agent says "Okay, what's your act called?" Dad replies "The Aristocrats!"

Yo mama so fat she runs the risk of stroke, heart disease, or diabetes

why did the kid raise his hand in class because he had a question

why was allison crying? because her mom's dead.

What is green and red all over? A christmas tree that is internally bleading.

Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms and she was blind.

Chuck Norris tried to return some jeans to Target and when they didn't give him his money he kickeed them in the face.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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