What did Heinrich Himmler say to the chicken? I'll take that liver thanks.

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What's got two legs and bleeds a lot? Half a dog.

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What does the fox say? A scream-y howl. A shrill, hoarse scream of anguish, it sounds more than anything like a human baby undergoing some kind of physical torture.

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You know what really grinds my gears? Insufficient lubricant.

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What do black people and bananas have in common? 50% of their DNA

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What is the difference between a Ferrari and 1,000 dead babies? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the American family left the McDonald's with freshly bought chicken nuggets in their possession, and needed to cross the road to return to their home and eat said chicken.

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What made your girlfriend laugh to death? You dropped my pants.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown Who shit in my garden

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Contrary to the popular saying, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away," if you get cancer there's nothing an apple can do...

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What happend to the Jew when he was near the fire place He very carefully tended to it

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who has a vagina, likes men , soundslike afive year old girl, has some sweet boobies and onlyhas one hair on his little vag? Robert sweeny

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What do you call a Knight who farts a lot? Sir Farts-a-lot

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You: Ask me if I like lasagna. Them: Do you like lasagna? You: No.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the squirrel fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the monkey.

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Q: What would have been the easiest way to stop the second world war without killing anyone? A: Paid Hitler for his art.

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Two guys walk into a bar. But the third one was a duck.

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Why did they chicken cross the road? It didn't. A van ran it over when it was halfway across.

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What do you call a bunch of Mexicans running down a hill jail brake

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Why couldn't the woman drive the car? Because she was a woman.

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sweating like antoni with a girl

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What is brown and green and goes 100 mph? A tree falling down on your house.

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8 muslims walk into a bar You know why. Because their suicidal bombing plans were put off until Tuesday

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What's worse than being a Packer fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... Oh, wait...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops