what's worse then a blowjob?

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What do you do if you walk outside and see your t.v. floating in the lawn in the middle of the night? Go back inside.

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So a man walks into a bar carrying a giant clock. One of his friends asks, "Hey, whats up with the clock?" His friend then responds, "A goddamned genie gave it to me, i can't take it anymore. Here take his lamp." The man decided to rub the lamp and thinks to himself, "Gee, I'm gonna wish for 1 million dollars." The genie comes out and asks the man, "What wish could i grant you today?" The man says, "I wish i could have 1 million dollars!!" The genie replies, "As you please." All of a sudden, a studded dog collar appears. Then another, and another. Soon there were 1 million dog collars in the bar. The man yells, "WHAT IS THIS?!?! I DIDNT WISH FOR 1 MILLION COLLARS!!!" His friend then replies, "I didn't wish for a giant clock either...."

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What is the different between going to church and reading a newspaper? You can take your shoes off when you read a newspaper.

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why did Rebecca black get down on Fridays? because she had school every other day of the week.

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One man calls emergency: - Come immediately, my little son has swallowed a condom! After five minutes, the same man calls back: - It is OK, I found another one.

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What is it about homosexuals that's so gay? What is it about heterosexuals that's so straight? What is it about an apple that's so gay?(Because it's a FRUIT right?) What is it about penises that's so straight?

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Why cant African children read? While there are many contributing factors the largest would probably be the lack of a standardized education system mainly due to the logistical factors involved in reaching so many wide spread communities. Also the current economic climate and general disregard for civilians by the governments in these area would suggest that the states' focus would be on other issues besides the welfare of their citizens, this is probably similar to other countries in similar situations such as middle eastern, eastern european, and latin and south america. Then again, not really being educated on this issue in almost any way, has probably contributed to a broad generalization, and so the premise of this joke is most likely flawed in any case.

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Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

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What's the difference between a baby and a textbook? You throw a textbook at the wall with TWO hands.

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a mulslim wlaks past a bomb shop on his way to join the international peace club

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How Many polish people does it take to screw in a light bulb? One, one person is capable of screwing in a light bulb. Unless they were mentally challenged, in which case, they would get someone else to do it for them.

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Why doesn't a duck's quack echo? Evolution.

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Roses are red, violets are blue, if you didn't know that, go back to school.

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You're Like A Book I Want To Put You Down

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How many jews can you fit into an ash-tray? none because the volume of a human is much greater than an any ash-tray

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Why did the boy cross the road? Because he was stapled to the chicken.

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why did a guy try to rob me? because he was black.

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Did you ever notice how Bill Nye has a "labrotory" filled with young innocent children? hmmm, very suspicious!

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two peanuts were walking down the street. but one was unsalted...

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What's the difference between a box of dead babies and a Lamborghini? I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage

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Brians mother always told him to reach for the stars. He died the next morning.

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Did you know diarrhoea is genetic? It is a side effect of Polycystic Kidney Disease.

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What do the duck and elephant have in common?? Nothing, they are completely different species.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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