God is the English name given to a singular being in theistic and deistic religions who is either the sole deity in monotheism, or a single deity in polytheism. He (I use the term 'He' as it is the most common conception) is said to be omniscient, omnipotent, omnipresent, and omnibenevolent. I highly doubt he will give you lemons.

SQUID DOMINATION!!! Squids WILL Take Over the World!!!

Who kille the Mockingbird? George Bush: i wish i could know the answer for this question, but belive me i am thinking.

roses are red violets are blue. they both smell like flowers

Why are bannanas bendy? Because unlike cucumbers bannas are not grown in a tube and are left to grow at their own pace.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

your life

Roses are red Violets are blue I like pussy Because it feels really good when I stick my penis inside her vaginal opening

What happened to the lady? She queefed.

whats blue and fluffy? blue fluff.

why did the boy drop his icecream?? he got hit by a bus

-knock knock -i'm not at home, go away!

a very large and muscly guy walks into a bar and finds a scrawny white guy he asks him if he has ever been in a fight with someone bigger then him the man says no the large man then leaves the bar and they both continue on with their day

Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

A rabbai , a mexican , and a ginger are In a car going over a cliff. Which one dies? Who cares?

One Zebra and One Elephant was walking in the desert, the Zebra said its hot and the elephant said i know.

Why was the homeless man begging for money? Because he needed money to buy liquer for his severe alcohol addiction that was slowly destroying his liver.

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm.

Hollywood presents: In a world... Where darkness and crime is at every corner... The governments darkest secret... MUST... BE... UNLEASHED! Jack Kirby: So, with this technology I can swallow criminals and gain their abilities? But is there not a lot wrong with this? Hollywood: Meh... Sorry, we are gonna go with The Fast and The Furious 64: Mario Kart style.

What do you call a man with no arms and no legs sky diving? I don't know, but that sounds like a highly improbable circumstance.

What do you call a Jew reading a book in the library? Steve Goldberg. .

What ticks and makes a very loud noise? the bed

Why was the man in the kitchen? Because his wife was raped and killed.

What's black, white, and red all over? A painting with black, white and red paint.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...