Q: What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A: A pharmacist

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A horse walked into a bar, the bartender asked "Why the long face?" The horse did not reply, as it was a horse and did not speak English nor understand what the man had said, the horse then stumbled around the bar for a while, confused, before finding the exit and leaving.

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There are 3 guys named:Poop, Shut up and Manners. They all were speeding down the street, they took a sharp turn and Poop fell out of the back. A cop pulled them over while Manners got out to go get Poop. The cop says, "whats your name." "Shut up." "No seriously whats your name." "Shut up" he says a little bit harsher. "Wheres your manners?" the cop says. "Back there picking up Poop."

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There are three muffins sitting in an oven. The first one says nothing. The second one also says nothing. They're just muffins and muffins can't talk.

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Why did the man kill himself? Because he had a gun

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What did the pillow say to it's owner? Nothing. Pillows are not able to talk.

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If Irishmen didn't walk out of bars, they would collect and eventually fill the bars of the world and would die given the bars could not support them.

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A Jew finally tipped He was in a canoe

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Why did the boy fall off the swings? He had no arms.

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Why did the girl commit suicide? She got raped

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How do you stop an African outlaw who uses child soldiers? Angelina Jolie

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? Because there were no cars coming

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Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

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Q: What's red and bad for your teeth A: A brick

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Touch it gently, put two fingers inside, if it's wide use three fingers, make sure it's wet and rub up and down. Yep that's how you wash a cup.

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Yo mamma is so fat, that she's going on a diet and is exercising regularly to lose wait.

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Why did the little boy cry? He fell down the stairs

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Knock Knock! Who's There? Billy Sup Billy, come on in!

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What did the cat say to the rabbit? Nothing, cats are incapable of human speech as far as scientists are concerned. Also, the mouse was having a bad day. Rutabaga.

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what did the cow say to shabab?....... want some milk

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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Yo mama so ugly she's ridiculed daily and has frequent suicidal thoughts.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?? It got shot Why did the 2nd monkey fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first monkey

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What did Santa Claus say to the young boy on Christmas Day? Santa Claus is a myth, that was actually a pedophile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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