You might be a redneck if you're from a rural area and behave as such.

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That was slightly painful. I would appreciate it if you would stop such actions in the future

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what did the boy in the blue hat do? wear his blue hat

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Knock, Knock? Who's There? Not Suzie

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse responds "I have cancer"

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DID YOU HEAR THE FBI INVENTED A TELEPHONE THAT THEY CAN USE TO CALL THE DINOSAURS? ITS TRUE! Them DAMN DINOS REFUSE TO PICK UP THEIR CELLPHONES THOUGH! Nero: This is not completely accurate though, a T-Rex called us twice actually, but he just kept roaring, making communication impossible... ...That sad moment when you post a totally non ofensive joke, then to tell you that I might your father, me or one of the sixthy guys that bukkaked your mother which was sucking off a dog and... Anyway problem solved!

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Why didn't my marriage work out? Because I married a tangerine.

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A black man and a mexican man are in a car. Who is driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful rest of their trip. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

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What happens if you don't use a condom? The person you are sleeping with may get pregnant or contract some kind of STI or STD. In worse cases you or your partner may contract HIV or possibly AID's.

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? - "Where's my tractor?"

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A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

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What did the little boy say to a stranger? Nothing. He is very shy, and his parents always said to never talk to strangers.

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My, you you... SEDUCER! XD, and there I go proving your point by going uppercase XD

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Why the hell does my sister shower in a swimsuit every time? Its not as if anyone is looking! ALRIGHT! ONCE ALRIGHT? ONLY ONCE! But then she hears the sound of my zipper ONCE and the shit hits the fan! Which is weird, yeah suuure she hears it when I pull it up, but when I pull it down and stroke it and moan? Nada!

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There are two muffins in an oven neither can say anything at the moment, however, because both are in excruciating pain.

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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How do you make a suicide jumper not jump? Shoot him instead.

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how do you hurt sombody? cut off their legs.

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my goldfish never writes me back when i send him letters

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What do you get when you combine a potato and an apple? A nice Apple Potato Souffle...

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What did the orphan boy get for Christmas? Cancer. What did he get for his birthday? He didn't make it that far...

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What did one ocean say to the other? Nothing they just waved

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mangos mandarins mushrooms mustache :{

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Jane: The house is supposedly worth $ 6 million Jack: No way! The figure is made up.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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