what did the postman say to the dog, nothing he doesnt speak dog....... but his mother in law does.

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The Qur'an

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Q: How do you cure cancer? A: By die aids first

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Yo momma is so dumb, the tests came back positive for mental retardation and she has been given an expected life expectancy of 2 years.

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So you have been really stressed lately huh?

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It's funny that Melo and Garnett are going to be on the same Allstar team

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What did the badger say to the mushroom? BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER MUSHROOM MUSHROOM! BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER BADGER ARGH SNAKE! IT'S A SNAKE...

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What do you call a woman who has huge breasts? Sarah, for instance.

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Did you know? . You already know!

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, There's gas in your shower, Because you're a Jew. Love, Hitler

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Houlocaust. What's worse than the Houlocaust? Nothing, the Haulocaust was one of the most horrible instances of inhumanity in recorded history.

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Why did the little boy drop his ice-cream? He was run over by a bus and died instantly.

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This ones for the dudes: Whats worse then having sex with a woman with no penis? Having se with a man

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Why did the mokey board the westbound train? I said gray umbrella noodle head!

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Take one: "What kind of assho... Take two "What kind of awesome people with no dignit..." Take three: "What kind of awesome people with most dignified self image would use this piece of shit s... Final take What kind of awesome people with most dinified self image would use this RETARDED PIECE OF MOLTEN SHlT SITE FROM FUCKING HELL?" Moral: "Technically I do not use it, I abuse it just like I did your mom... Hey, I am your dad by the way, that gives me the right to rape you whenever I want" NeroMetal I once fisted a velociraptor to death (I do not mean punching it in the face here if you think thats something), but that's not metal... I cant for the fuck bother to find out how to spell the fucking dinosaurs name... Now that is metal...

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Q: What kind of punch do vampires drink ? A: None... It's really blood, you should know that by now.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

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So I went to an audition, my friend said "break a leg" And then I did

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What did little Mindy Granger find on her paper route? Human teeth.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

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Whats worse than getting raped by jack the ripper? Getting fingered by captain hook.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Cause he felt like it.

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What did the astronaunt say to the doctor? Hola!

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How do you make a clown cry? Kill his family

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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