A student goes up to the teacher because he has to go to the washroom. The teacher tells him that he has to sing the ABC's before he can go. So the boy sings, "ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ." The teacher said he did a perfect job and could go to the washroom. The boy went on to become a billionaire. Congrats!

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Your dad is so gay, he lovingly marries another man and selflessly adopts you.

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Why is it when birds fly in a "V" shape one side is longer? There's more birds on that side.

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Why was the kid dizzy? He ran in a circle repeatedly.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes. Good because it is important to keep food chilled to prevent it from spoiling and in turn wasting money

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Whats white and black and red all over? A panda that has just been shot by a poacher.

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What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

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Q: What did the doctor say to the man with terminal cancer? A: You have terminal cancer.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven.

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A horse walks into a bar and the bartender asks "Why the long face?" The horse replies, "I have AIDS".

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i like punching orphans in the face, you wanna know why? what are they gonna do? tell their parents???

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What did the man say when he lost his car? Where the fuck did my car go

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what do women and men have in common? nothing, women are inferior

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Why couldnt the old man ski? There was no snow.

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Why didn't Jesus like Pizza? Because Pizza doesn't exist.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Why? I was asking you...

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Whats long and hard? a baseball bat

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what happend when 3 white guys and 3 black guys try out for a basketball team? They all made it because you need 5 people on the team and it is good to have an extra person on the team in case some one gets hurt, fouled out, late for the game or dies.

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither, many scientists believe that the first living organisms on Earth were single-celled, prokaryotic bacteria.

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What did the little boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? Cancer.

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your momma's so fat that she weighs a lot

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He has to on his commute to work. He is a taxpaying citizen who does his 8-5 job to try and cut out a decent living for his wife and kids, so stop questioning the route that he takes to get to work.

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Why did the little girl keep running into things Because she was blind

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whats the difference between a male porsche driver and a porcupine? with porcupines,the pricks are on the outside.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops