Q: why can't women drive? A: because there is no road between the kitchen and the bedroom

What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and my cousins? Nothing.

What is the reward for the pimp who banged a bitch? HIV

How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? 0

Chuck noris is so awesome that he brings a knife to a gun-fight, and wins

I saw a number three walking past me in the street the other day and I thought to my self that's odd.

Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

Roses are red Violets are blue i have a gun get in the van

A janitor walks into a bar. He cleans the bar.

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What happened to the man who had the most loving parents and family when he was born, had an amazing childhood which he shared with so many good friends, was loved everywhere, helped the poor, started a fundraiser for starving kids in africa, got a college education, helped a complete stranger get off his drug addiction, married a beautiful woman, bought a nice house and had 3 children who he loved dearly and spent time with as much as he possibly could, tucked them in every night and enjoyed every second of his life as if it was his last? He died.

What did the fat man say when he saw the giant twinky on the billboard? I wish that twinky was real, because I am too poor to pay my bills, am getting audited, and cannot feed my four children on minimum wage.

The young orphan boy had high hopes for this Christmas. When he woke up, he ran to the foot of the tree and saw a large box wrapped with seasonal wrapping paper. He looked at it to see that it was for someone else. The boy recieved nothing for Christmas and was later hit by a bus that had veered off of the road to avoid hitting a dog. The boy is now paralyzed and is extremely disappointed as to how his Christmas had unfolded.

My, you you... SEDUCER! XD, and there I go proving your point by going uppercase XD

Q: Whats funny about the Holocaust A: Nothing

Why is the earth round? Because God saw it was flat and thought "too flat lets turn it around" And all was good.

-Why didn't a girl cry after she fell down with her bike? -Because a handlebar pinned her lung.

Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know either, i'm just wondering why a chicken is trying to cross the road!

A pregnant woman walked into a bar what did she say? Can i have a drink

There's a tray of muffins in the oven. One muffin says, "man it's hot in here!" Another muffin says, "holy shit! A talking muffin!"

Q: whats worse that sucking at piano A: the world blowing up

Godzilla steps on a bar and orders a Scotch.

what do u get when you cross a monkey, a sock and wheels? A: a sock monkey. I was kidding about the wheels

What’s funnier than cancer? Most things, really.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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