Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

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DAAAAAAAAMN! I AM BEHIND THE SQUARE WHEEL AGAIN! AND THAT SHIT IS POINTY! PRETENDING TO CARE IS SUCH A HASSLE! Anyway, I hope you know I was joking (otherwise you would totally be,not as smart as I thought) but yeah lets see, I am the fourth most pointless MAN, after "The square wheel", "My wife" (:)) I guess some guy just married the wrong wife huh?) And the the fucking wheel is a billion times more manly than Justin Bible or whatever you called that... Thing, and that wheel is made from a female tree! What? HAVE THE LAST COMMENT? I DO NOT GET HAVE! I GET TAKE BY FORCE! Well as far as comments and go, and sex of course.

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What did a Chinese man say to the other Chinese man? I don't know, I don't speak Chinese.

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What has 156 bras and 927 pairs of underwear? Someone without a washing machine.

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To the 'am i pregnant now?'-section: Yesterday I spilled mustard on my brand new pants. That was just before I went out to some clubs. That night, after I had enjoyed myself with friends and alcohol, while I was walking home I was raped several times by big, black and hung men. It hurt a lot and my anus is still bleeding. My question is: What is the best way to get rid of the mustard stain?

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Q: Why is Abu Soooo Dank? A: Because he scores too many left-foot bangers

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Q. What's worst than getting kicked in the balls ? A. The holacaust

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Whats the deal with airline food? I dont know, the cost is included in the plane ticket

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You know what happens when you plant a baby into the soil and give it lots of sun and water? It dies.

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What? Why?

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A man walks into a library looking for books on poor punchlines. The Librarian directs him to the appropriate section.

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Why did the depressed man jump off the bridge? Because bungee jumping is a great activity to relieve stress.

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Why don't elephants smoke? Because they would be afraid of the fire, and they are much more adversely affected by recreational drugs than humans are.

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Why did Sally fall of the swing? Because she had no arms Knock knock.. Who's there? Not Sally!

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A group of young men walks into a bar. They drink some booze, laugh, have a great time and then go home to sleep.

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what can keep u alive for many years- -not being shot

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Do you believe that if I theoretically am unmatched in many ways, would feel less alone if I decided to become more like the rest?

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A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks why the long face? The horse, unable to comprehend human speech, promptly craps on the floor and leaves.

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A man walks into a bar, purchases a beer, and leaves.

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a hispanic guy are standing before a cliff. They proceeded to take lovely pictures.

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When Glenn looks in the mirror all he sees is Nicole Sipes.

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Why did the little girl fall to death? Because pigs can't fly. It's impossible.

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knock knock "who's there?" "boo" "boo who?" dont worry its only a joke dont cry.

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Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't. Her head was stuck in the oven.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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