- Anti Joke

A man walks into a bar at 1 in the afternoon. He's the bartender and a fellow employee asked him to cover the afternoon shift.

If an oak tree falls in the woods, and the tree has 3 squirrel nest in them, then does a whale jizz in the ocean?

If I have 12 backpacks and Jimmy has 91 pancakes, then how many marshmallows can cover the roof of this building? Purple. Because Aliens don't wear hats.

What's the diffrence between a hockey puck, and an african child? They're both black, but usualy african children aren't round!

mommy mommy! why are we pushing the car over the cliff?! the mom answers shhh youll wake your father...

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop? Go ask your mom.

Why doesn't Michael Jackson play with my brother anymore? Because he's dead.

A Matthew walks into a room. Everyone left. This is not a joke

why is the spine-tailed swift the fastest bird? because its faster than the second fastest bird.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Well, the answer is to get to the other side, but this is an anti-joke site so I don't know why as it can't be it.

What's worse than seeing a real joke on this website? Having diarrhea.

How do you make an elephant float? Who cares?

A man walks into a bar. He walks out 10 minutes later because he was satisfied with the new hooker he killed and made out with in the bar's bathroom.

How do you get birds to land in your back yard? With a gun.

What do you call a kid with no arms and an eyepatch? names.....

What's invisible and smells like carrots ? Rabbit Farts

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops

What's black on top and white on the bottom? Half an oreo

What did the little black boy get for Christmas? Hopefully something nice.

Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? No it's Cindy Lou Who!

What? Why?

Why did the woman leave the kitchen? She didn't. Her head was stuck in the oven.