Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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A blind 1st grader is doing math. He can't figure out a problem so he asks his mom to help, his mom then ask "Why don't you just count by your fingers?" the little boy then said "MOM! I'm blind I can't see!" his mom replys "then how do you see your homework?" the boys replys "I opened my eyes, now help me"

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What's brown,green got four legs and can fall out of a tree and kill you? A snooker table.

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Why did the Chicken cross the roead? It didn't

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Why did the tourist cross the road? He was sightseeing.

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What do you call a man who is walking into walls and poles? A blind man who really needs your help.

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When does the ice cream get thrown at the yellow horse on thursday evening? Purple Monkey Rainbow

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how come bob felt 'under pressure'? because somebody dropped a dumpster on him

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It's the police sir. There's been an accident.

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how did the fat man get up the stairs he walked

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A deranged serial killer walks into a bar. No one leaves because he looks like a normal guy.

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How many morman minutes does it take to get to school? A lightyear

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How do you get 100 midgets into a mini? You have to manufacture a mini big enough to accommodate 100 midgets. It won't be street legal, but at least your problem with fitting the midgets in the mini is solved.

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why did the girl go into the kitcen? she was preparing a meal for her well safisticated family which had not ate dinner yet that day.

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Guess what? I like trains.

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What's funnier than a pile of dead babies? A pile of dead babies with a live one crawling out.

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What was Steve Jobs' favorite fruit? Grapes.

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Why was 9 afraid of 10 because 10 was a registered sex offender

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What's a fun thing to do on a plane? Make a bolt to the pilot, smash his brains in with a iron pipe and make the plane plummet a few hundred feet with a maniacal laugh until you wake up from your dream and scream at your mother to wipe you.

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A man and wife were having a vacation when suddenly the man falls to the floor and starts having a seizure. The woman screams "Oh my God, is there a doctor in the house?!" Then a doctor appears and helps the man with the appropriate method of handling a seizure. The doctor says everything is going to be okay.

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What's black and white and nailed to the floor? A skunk that's nailed to the floor.

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Whats the difference between a black man and a banana? Banana's don't hijack planes.

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Q: What do you call a real joke on anti joke A: Someone obviously don't understand the concept of this website

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No really, try this: You: Say "knock, knock" Your friend: OK, knock knock You: Who's there? Your friend: ...... [this awkward pause makes evident the fact that it has now dawned on your friend that he has to generate content for a joke that he wasn't telling in the first place]

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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