What do you call an old man in his underwear with a bag of pepper on his back while licking pebbles off the sidewalk? Senile.

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Trees are black, WHO BURNT MY GARDEN?!

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I've got a tip for the ladies. Or if you like I can put the whole thing

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feminists.

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what does a beer and a priest have in common? They both are cold refreshing beverages, except for the priest.

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What did Batman say to Robin to get in the car? Get in the car.

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Who didn't let the gorilla into the ballet? The people who were in charge of that decision.

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what Did The Cow Say To The Chicken, Moo

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Why was the Mexican lucky to have a job? Due to the failing economy, lack of available jobs, and amount of people getting laid off, it was considered lucky to have a job.

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Jack and Jill went up the hill To fetch a pail of water Jack fell down and broke his crown and Jill called the paramedics

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Q: How many electricians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 1, idiot.

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What did the man say to the woman? get back in the kitchen and make me a sandwich.

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a man was cooking a tortilla. what did he say when he dropped it while flipping the tortilla? oops i dropped my tortilla

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What do you call double A's? Batteries

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An Asian with a big dick.

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you suck

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Why did the dead baby cross the road? Because it was stapled to the chicken.

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SOY COMO SOY Y ME ENCANTA SI NO ME VALORAS ESE ES TU PEDO

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How often do you remember a dream? Well what if I told you that this is a dream go ahead pinch your arm. You probably didn't feel pain. And just incase jump out a fifth story window. Come on do it. Now if you are still reading this you are either dreaming or didn't jump out the window. Shame on you!!!!!!

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What eats grass and goes MMMMOOOOOOO? A weird person that likes to eat grass and MMMMOOOOOOO

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Your face Godammit!!!

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How many Jews can you fit into a Volkswagen? Probably around seven.

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A frog walks up to Steve, and says "Hey, Steve." Steve is terrified because a frog knows his name, and is walking.

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If the covalent bonds of two Hydrogen atoms and one Oxygen atom creates water, which subs are currently on the 5-dollar-foot-long menu at Subway?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops