What's more painful than having your girlfriend cheat on you and leave you? Having your **** bitten off slowly.

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What's invisible and smells like carrots? Rabbit farts.

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Roses are red violets are blue i have HIV you should probably get yourself checked...

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An old man walks into a bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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Why did the first Monkey fall out of the tree? He was dead. Why did the second Monkey fall out of the tree? He was stapled to the first Monkey. Why did the bird fall out of the tree? Peer pressure.

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What did Kony say to the children right before he took them Come with me you f******* n*****

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How many dead babies can you fit in a bathtub? About 1 or 2, then the neighbors would phone the police and you would be arrested for infanticide.

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roses are red violets are indigo

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What did the Rasta man say when he got his dread stuckin the toilet ?

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how many blondes does it take to screw in a light bulb? --probably just one, unless cerebral palsy runs in her blood, therefore her aid would assist her.

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Your mother is such a whore that she engages regularly in acts of consensual but unprotected sex with various gentlemen.

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A man walks in to a bar, He sits down and enjoys a pint.

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Roses are red violets are blue or at least that's what they tell me because I am blind

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I would tell you a joke about a pencil but there would be no point.

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Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

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A horse walks into a bar, it broke both its legs and was then put down.

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What did Helen Keller name her dog? Max

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Roses are red, Metal is gray, Justin Beiber, is very gay

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Why did the mum scream at the boy? Because he was being stupid

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Why was it sad for black guys drove off a cliff? There two more seats

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What came first the chicken or the egg? Neither, chickens have been extinct since 1987.

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a man walks into a bar and a horsefly eats him

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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What's black and white and red all over? A racially integrated society.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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