how are a ferrari and a pile of dead babies similar? neither are good to have in your garage when the police come.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

why can't hellen keller eat a pizza? because she is dead.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar. Everyone in the bar is very happy for him considering he has regained the ability to walk

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What"s pink and fluffy? Pink fluff.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Up High. *high fives* In The Middle *high fives* Down Low *high fives* In the Grass *high fives* You've been diagnosed with prostate cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's black and has ne education? A tire.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you get when you cross a train track and a bumpy feild, Further along on your GPS map.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Jackie Chan walks into a bar.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How much cocain did Charlie sheen do? Enough to kill 2 and a half men

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What kind of Mexican makes no money? A Mexican without a job.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What's worse than public speaking? Public masterbation. *Spelled it wrong purposly to bypass the filter*

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What do you call a kite that doesn't fly. A broken kite.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

How many Santa Clauses does it take to change a light bulb? Santa Claus isn't real.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did batman say to robin before they got into the car? Get in the car.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Rose are red, I dont give a shit. When I think of you, I play with my clit. :)

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What has eyes but cannot see? A blind man.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did the 18 year old girl take her clothes off? To take a shower

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Sarah!

thumb_up thumb_down -3

how does cody get laid? he doesnt.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

A white man and a black woman walk into a bar, they both fell in love and lived happily together until their 25 year old son had gotten in too a car crash Luckily their son lived

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

What did the doctor say to the recently diagnosed AIDS patient? I'm sorry there is nothing we can do.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

The opposing forces behind all human beings is not light vs darkness, not good vs evil, but fear vs ' love. Whatever is overwhelmingly good for one person, is evil to many. Overwhelming darkness wont allow you to see. Overwhelming light will make you blind. You can never fear overwhelming love. You can never love overwhelming fear. These are the true polar opposites, part of all emotion that drive the human being.

thumb_up thumb_down -3

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops