A wise man once said a journey of a thousand steps starts with one step. The wise man also smoked weed and starved to death in a cave.

A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

How do you fit an elephant into a car? You can't. Unless it's a baby elephant. You would probably also need a convertible with the top down.

Laugh

A wife asks her husband to treat her like she's special. So he tells her, "Gooooooooooo... Maaaaaaaaaaaaake... Meeeeeeee.... Aaaaaa.... Saaaaaaaandwitch

What did the father tell his son who was caught stealing from the teacher? --The father didn't say anything because he walked out on his family when the children were born.

What did Robin say to Justin Beiber? You're gay. Angus L.

What's green and has wheels? A green car.

so a man goes to jurrasic park and sees two dinosaurs fighting. he shits himself.

Q:what did one lawyer say to the other lawyer? other person: What? A:how am i suppose to know I'm not a lawyer.

why did the chicken cross the road? to touch the goats beard

What's the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout comes home from camp

How did the girl get rid of a fever? She took medicine.

Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

whats worse than a kane nothing

Why did the man visit 4chan? He heard about it from a coworker and was curious about what it was.

What are blacks scared of? The kkk

What? Yes.

Roses are red Violets are red Jimmy is red Sally is red Susie is red Jimmy is red Billy is red Carl is red Jose is red Jerry is red Ferdinand is red Everyone is red Because they all just got shot In the head And now they're dead

A man walked into his house He saw his wife having an affair with his teenage Gardner

Why was the mime crying? Her husband died.

Two goldfish are swimming in the ocean. One says to another, "I don't think we will be able to survive in this salty environment".

Yo mamma is so old that she lives in a retirement home for the aged, and will most likely die there in several years.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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