Two chemists walk into a bar. The first one says "I'll have some H20." The second one says "why did you come to the bar if you're just going to have water?" and orders a beer.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Wanna hear a story bout my uncle turza.... My uncle turza was eating fruit loops one day and there was a squirrel in the trre from 2 days ago he got angry because the spoon was from the phillipines so he punched a whole in the wall and his half uncle cousins sister had a cage.... True story

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the middle-aged black man lose his job? Because in this day in age, many businesses are being forced to lower their pay-roll, and he could no longer be afforded.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

The snails are salting one by one Hurrah! Hurrah! They fizzle up until they're gone Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting two by two Hurrah! Hurrah! They melt until there's only goo Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting three by three Hurrah! Hurrah! Some shells and slime is all I see Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die! The snails are salting four by four Hurrah! Hurrah! We shaker-salt them even more Hurrah! Hurrah! We salt the snails and hear their wails As they melt and die!

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock. Who's there? ... Damn knick knockers.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

an dislexik nam rwote hits

thumb_up thumb_down +4

On a scale of 1 to Kevin James, how much do you exercise?

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was being chased by a wolf, who promptly ate the chicken when they arrived at the other side.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: Why did the boy not laugh at the Anti Joke? A: Because he has no sense of humor

thumb_up thumb_down +4

You want to know something bad? A bag of dead babies. You wanna know something worse? One was still alive. You wanna know something even worse? He ate his way out. You wanna know something even worse? He went back for seconds.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

knock knock who's there Bob I don't know you Bob and if you don't get off my porch this minute i'm calling the authorities.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought it was yours.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the strawberry say to the grape? Nothing, inanimate objects can't use verbal communication.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the mexican jump over the fence? It was a shortcut.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why was the dog fallowing the fat guy. The fat guy said come.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

There was an English man, an Irish man and a Scottish man. The Welsh man couldn't make it. Again.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

THAT AWKWARD MOMENT... nuff said

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Q: How do you kill a Brazilian Blind Electric Ray? A: Killing endangered species is a crime.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

i hate when your sentence doesn't end as you testicle.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why didn't the ice cream cross the road? ??(?/?) ?. (KOREAN)

thumb_up thumb_down +2

What does Yoko Ono say while rehearsing her song before a concert? She gives directions to the band.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

2 men walk into a bar. You would have expected the second one to notice it after the first guy walked into it.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

MILLERS FUNNY LIKE A JEW

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops