My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

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How does an Asian person get overweight? By eating food with a great amount of calories and not burning then off in time.

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Roses are flowers.

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Why was Yabba annoyed? Because the idiots who do the audio description voiceover for Timmy Time on BBC iPlayer frequently refer to her as a male even though she is clearly a female duck.

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What do you do when a dog chews your pen? Use a pencile instead.

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What is the difference between a tree and a person? Trees don't scream when hit with an axe.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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Why did the little girl cry? She lives in Haiti.

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L.A Clippers 2000-2012 season!!!!

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How do you get 2x1=4? Do the wrong math.

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When life gives you Pure Filtered Water, Sweeteners (High Fructose Corn Syrup, Sugar), Lemon Juice from Concentrate, Less Than 0.5% of Each: Natural Flavors, Citric Acid (Provides Tartness), Modified Cornstarch, Glycerol Ester of Wood Rosin, Sodium Hexametaphosphate and Sodium Benzoate and Potassium Sorbate and Edta (to Protect Taste), Red 40 Make Lemonade.

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What's round and cheesy? A cheese wheel.

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what did the grandma do after she was pushing up daisies? washed her hands because gardening is a dirty activity

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BOTTOM!!!

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What's purple and tastes like grapes? Grapes

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Why did little Susie Fall in the well? She had downs.

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What's the difference between a paper towel and a crab cake? Ones a paper towel and ones a crab cake

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Why did the man go to the hospital Because he was hurt

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You come home and find your family dead. What do you do? Take a picture, post it on facebook

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor Wheres my tractor?

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Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman

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What was the joke about that woman with altsimers again? Ironically I forgot.

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did you hear about the guy who got his left leg and left arm cut off? he's all right now

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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