why do my feet smell so bad? because i havent washed them for 5 days

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A guy walks into a restaurant and sits down only to realize he is not wearing any pants. Immediately the police are called and arrest the man for indecent exposure. Given there were children in the restaurant at the time, the man is also charged as level 3 sex offender and is held on $100,000 bail. His family receives the news and become the talk of the town. His wife commits suicide from embarrassment, leaving her 10 year old son up for adoption who later gets involved with drugs due to his rough childhood.

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What's the difference between a stepfather and a turkey? A stepfather is a man who married a woman who has already had a family with another man but the man does not mind because he has fallen deeply in love with her and wants to spend the rest of his life with the woman. A turkey is completely different in many respects.

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Will you please answer one question for me? "Yes" Thank you. -walk away-

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Why was Stephanie sad? She dropped a washing machine on her toe

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a horse walks into a bar. the barman asks "why the long face". not understanding human language, the horse takes a shit, neighs then leaves

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My friend asks me what my mom does for a living and i told him that she is a nurse. Then he says "That a good job because she is able to save lives". I quickly reply "She works in an abortion clinic".

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Why was Yabba annoyed? Because the idiots who do the audio description voiceover for Timmy Time on BBC iPlayer frequently refer to her as a male even though she is clearly a female duck.

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How did Steve Jobs die? Of cancer, in a bed, and surrounded by his loved ones.

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Good job, son.

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How does an Asian person get overweight? By eating food with a great amount of calories and not burning then off in time.

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Q: What is the fastest way to get insulted? A: Go screw yourself m0therf0cker!

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Whats worse than passing out drunk and having your friends draw on your face? When you die of alcohol poisoning in the morning

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yo mamas like a chicken hut all the cock* fly in

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Where did the did the Islamic person fly the jet to? Ben Gurion International Airport located in Israel

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How did Mario finally defeat Bowser? He took Steriods

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Knock knock! Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? To get to the other side!

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A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

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Roses are flowers.

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Cry me a river. Then build a bridge and become a structural engineer.

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Roses are brown, violets are brown, someone keeps shitting in my garden

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Wuy are Kenyans so fast? Because due to variations in evolution, people from that part of the world have a better muscle build to run at higher speeds than equally trained athletes from other parts of the world.

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Here come the elephants over the hill!

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How do you punish Helen Keller? Send her to her room until she becomes civil enough to explain what was causing her misbehavior.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops