Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have Alzheimers, Cheese in toast,

thumb_up thumb_down +9

I went to the doctor & he gave only 6 months to live. I told him I couldn't pay my bill, he said "that doesn't change the fact you're going to die soon."

thumb_up thumb_down +9

So a woman walks out of a kitchen, she is instantly mauled by a bear.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

An Irishman, Englishman and Scotsman come across a magic slide. They each decide to take a turn. The Irishman goes first, sliding down and shouting "GOLD!", and finding himself in a pile of gold as he reaches the bottom. The Englishman slides down screaming "SILVER!", and lands in a heap of silver at the bottom. The Scotsman takes his turn, and shouts "WEEEE!" as he slides down. He gets up and realises what a needless waste of a wish his enjoyment cost him.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

The WNBA.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Whats Jewish and Funny? A Jewish Comedian.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

knock knock whos there? your neighbor, dude im sorry but i swear i didnt see your kid on my drive way.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Knock, Knock. Who's there? It's me, Jeremy. Oh, great to see you! Come inside. They then have a great time watching TV and eating snacks

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What did one prostitute say to the other prostitute? I'm dying of AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Joe goes to the bathroom with someone in the next stall named Bill Bill: "Hi" Joe: "Hi" Bill: "How you doing" Joe: "Good" Bill: "You traveling" Joe: "Yes to Alabama" Bill: "Yeah, I got to go a guy in the next stall answering all my questions bye"

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why do you stick a baby in a blender feet first? So you can see the expression on its face...

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and floats? Nothing, its rude to make fun of disabilities.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

-Knock, knock! -Who is it? -Me

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why can't Dave drive? Because Dave is an orange.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Why can't jokes spit?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Women

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you call a white guy? A caucasion man.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What burns like hell? Gonorrhea.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Did you know that in the country of Nigeria, every minute, 60 second passes?

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What do you get when you throw a white hat in the red sea? A wet hat.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

What's green and has wheels? A green car.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Your momma is so dumb, she failed the IQ test.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

thumb_up thumb_down +9

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops