Mario goes home after a hard day of work and finds his entire family killed and a note from Bowser... He is now an asshole who beats and rapes kids...

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How does God choose who goes to heaven? I'm just kidding, there's no God.

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There's a Christian preist, Jesus, and a Jewish rabi on a boat. They want to go fishing, but they forgot the sunscreen, the bait, and the fishing line. The Christian preist walks across the water and goes and gets the Sunscreen. Jesus walks across the water and gets the bait. The Jewish rabi steps out of the boat and drowns. Jesus turns to the Priest and says, "Do you suppose we should have told about the underwater bridge?"

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What's worse than a pile of dead babies? An alive one at the bottom eating its way up.

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The Dalai Lama orders a slice of pizza for $2 and gives the cashier a $5 bill. He then realizes he hasn't been given any change, so he asks for his change. The cashier quickly apologizes and hands the Dalai Lama three dollar bills.

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roses are red violets are blue i have some cheese im going to eat it

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what do you call a man with no arms or legs jetskiiing? I don't know but it seems a highly improbably situation.

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Q: What is strange about Arabs? A: Very little.

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What do you call a man with no arms and no legs in the water? You shouldn't call him anything. He needs help. -Tag

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What do you do when a dog chews your pen? Use a pencile instead.

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What is the difference between a tree and a person? Trees don't scream when hit with an axe.

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What did the blind man say to his best friend? All i see is darkness and i want to end my life

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What was hitlers least favorite pokemon? Hitler didnt have a least favorite pokemon because hitler died long before the idea of pokemon was created.

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How do you kill a fat guy Keep giving him food he'll die eventually.

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Why does annie put 2 balls together? bacuse its makes a BUTT! oo

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How many Jews can you fit in a car? It really depends on the make and model of the car, as well as the relative size and weight of the people in question, but legally you can only have as many people in the car as there are seatbelts available for them.

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Your mom's so fat, I tried to rape her but couldn't find her p**** and gave up. Instead I decided to take her out to dinner. We enjoyed a lovely meal and I spent the rest of the night trimming her fat with a vegetable peeler while she screamed and bled all over the floor.

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Nebraska the farmland its the only place for me!! I love the corn and the corn loves me!! I live for the corn and the corn lives for me!!

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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What do Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder have in common? They're both well known figures who have inspired many.

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Wife: Where were you all night. Husband: Cheating on you with your sister

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What did the guy say to helen keller nothing... according to helen keller

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What is long and black? The line at KFC

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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