A grandma starts pinching her grandsons cheeks and saying who's a little cutie pie the baby begins to bleed cause his grandmas nails are peircing his skin

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So I said to the man "That's no banana, thats my wife!"

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What was Helen Keller's favourite colour? None, due her disability she was unable to see colours...

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Turkeys are obese

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What did George Washington tell his men before they got on their horses? Men get on your horses.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a headache OUCH!

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What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

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What do you call a black woman that flys a plane? - a pilot...

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An innocent man's home was raided by police, who accused him of grand theft auto. It turns out it was just a case of mistaken identity.

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Q-"what did the carrot say to the plant" A-"nothing because neither one of these objects can talk"

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What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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What did the blonde say to the brunette? I just ate a chicken panini.

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How do you kill a retard? Give him a knife and say "who's special?"

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why did matt daly want to go to prison? to be fondled

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled

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How many Jews can you fit inside a car? Legally somewhere between 2 and 9 depending on seat belt availability and passenger space.

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Why did the little boy run away from the beach? Hurricane Irene.

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Hey i heard You were a wierd kid ooooooooooalskdfjaslkdfj

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What's great about taking a shower with a twelve year old girl. Pulling her hair back and making her look like a six year old

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How many 3 legged black Irish catholic obstetricians, walking into a bar, does it take to make a chicken cross the road? Fish!

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What do you call a black man throwing jars of flaming fruit preserves at a Jewish basketball player. MEXICO

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the slaughterhouse was on the other side.

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what did the little boy say to the man? Nothing because earlier that day his mom reminded him not to talk to strangers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops