Roses are blue Violets are red Sugar are you And so is sweet

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." Then there is silence and a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone the guy says "I shot in the air and my friend heard it and moved. I think he's still alive." The operator says "Good that means he's still breathing and he's not dead."

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Whats grosser than a bloody hand? 2 bloody hands.

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Did you know Helen Keller had a swing set in her backyard? Neither did she.

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Q: What do you call a black man running for congress? A: Congressional Candidate

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roses are red, violets are blue i couldnt spend one night without you

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What is the difference between a black man dead in the middle of the road... and a deer dead in the middle of the road? One is a human and one is an animal

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What did Rebecka black say on Thursday? Today is thursday.

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A Palestinian woman walks into a library. She is promptly stoned to death.

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Two muffins are sitting in an oven, they get burned because the oven was left on for to long and they end up being thrown away.

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Is your refrigerator running? Yes Wtf?

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Why did the little boy throw his clock out of the window? After hours of searching for the snooze button to no avail, the little boy became so irritated at the incessant ringing of the alarm that he threw it out of his window in a fit of rage. The clock landed on an old woman who was walking twenty stories below. She was immediately killed on impact.

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Why couldn't the old man see? He was deaf

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what do you tell a black man getting hit by a police baton? that is racial inequality, and you no longer have to take that due to Abraham Lincoln's Gettysburg Address.

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What did the fat kid get for Christmas? Diabetes......

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chuck norris was shot yesterday... tomorrow is the bullets funeral.

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"You know what sucks?" "Vaccuumes?" "You know what metaforically sucks?" "Black holes?" "You know what just isn't cool?" "Lava?"

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What's worse; twelve babies in one trash can or one baby in twelve trash cans?

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the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

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A man walks into a Norfolk pub. The landlord (not being very worldly) notices he is of Middle Eastern descent and asks "are you Bin Laden"? To this the man replies "No I bin Swaffham". (Needs to be said in Norfolk accent)

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How Many Chickens does it take to make an egg? NOrmally 2

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Why did the white guy sit on the toilet? So he could take a poop.

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Roses are red Violets are blue Dandelions are weeds

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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