roses are red violets are blue if you and your sister were hanging from a cliff i'd save your sister

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a giraffe walks into a bakery, "can I have 101 brown loafs please?" the baker answers: "hmm I've got only 100 loafs is that ok too?" the giraffe says: "why the hell would I need a 100 loafs?!"

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I Like my women like i like my wine, 6 years old and locked in the cellar

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Why do bats fly in circles? They're mentally retarded.

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Haikus are easy But they often dont make sense flying flamingos

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Why didn't the chicken cross the road? the redneck got to him first.

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Nero here, nice to see you guys again, now you know why my babbling has been excessive (and pissed at the comments below, but now that the pills are working I am calm) Anyway, yeah point Zero is my "world" now, and its been thriving under my values (something I feared would just work on paper, and if so such beliefs would all been for nothing) As for hero... Well insert something like "I am no hero, I just do what is right" or something cheesy, or... Well, thats what I do really... Since nobody uses this site Ill extend the time you "former followers" can chat, as I got some nice stuff to share, and might just share a bit before I pass away (nah, but I will sleep when tired), I got a lot to do tomorrow.

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What happens when you throw a blue rock into red water? It gets wet...

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Why couldn't Billy see the show? Because Billy is blind.

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why did the mokey fall out of the tree because it was dead.

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whats worse than the holacost? your mom giving you cubes in your drink when you requested crushed instead

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Why can't Emily swing because she has no arms Knock Knock Who's there Not Emily

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Two guys walk into a bar. The third guys ducked.

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whats worse than watching your house burn to the ground? Sarah Palin becoming president

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Q: What did the duck say to the other duck? A: Quack

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A wise man once said...... I am a wise man

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Why is it easy to steal candy from a baby? Because the baby is smaller, weaker and would not pose any threat.

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A priest, rabbi, and a monk are sitting on a plane. One is in first class, one is in business class, and one is in coach. It turns out they're all going to the same interfaith conference.

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Knock knock. Who's there? The interrupting doctor. The inter-- --You have cancer.

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why was the kid sitting in a wooden chair? Because at the early age of four he was diagnosed with cancer and genital warts!

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what is the difference between batman and a black guy. bat man is white

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What is the difference between a priest and a nun? Cant you see the nun is dead you insensitive bastard!

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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One,two,skip a few... five,six,seven,eight...(and so on ad infinitum)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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