Why couldn't Matilda walk to school? Because a dog ripped her legs off.

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What do you call a dragon with no wings? a dragon with no wings :(

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You have 37 candy bars and you give your friend 12. What is the square route of the sun? Yes

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How did the old guy die? Of death and death related symptoms.

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A unicorn, a smart blonde, a dragon, and a hobo are in a maze who gets out first? The hobo. The other 3 don't exist. By Adam Chebali

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Q - What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and a trampoline? A - I take my shoes off when I jump on a trampoline.

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What did the virulent Homophobe do during the PRIDE national day of silence? He talked.

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How many owls can you fit in a bath tub?

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whats big and can vibrate after you turn it on? A washing machine.

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you just read an anti-joke

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Man: Am i going to be alright? Doctor: No, you're going to die.

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What is a slave fighting in a pit of Rome? Just a slave. Who cares?

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Why did the little boy tell his classmates jokes? To try and fit in for once.

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A white guy, a mexican, and a black guy are in a race. Who always wins? Whichever one crosses the finish line first

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Why can't you get a pterodactyl use the bathroom? Because they're extinct.

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An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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A man shouts a women crossing the road "Oi, get your rat out love!" So she did, and it savaged his face.

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a pope and a catholic priest walk into a bar... the priest orders... then the pope says to the bartender "I'll have what hes having." so the bartender takes out a small child and says ...."are you sure?"

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what did the man say to the doctor? how the hell would i know, ask him yourself.

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I like my women like i like my coffee... with big titis

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What do you get when you cross scabies with genital warts? Krusty Krabs.

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A group of blondes rent a car and decide to drive to Disney World. Along the highway, they see a sign reading "Disney World left." They exit the highway, turn left, and enjoy their well-deserved vacation from practicing law.

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Little Timmy walks up to the teacher during class and asks "Can i use the restroom?" The teacher says "I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy says "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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How did the Black man die at the KFC? Someone killed him.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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