How do you annoy a farmer? Shoot his wife.

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why did the baby start crying? because he was very hungry and hadn't been feed all day

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If I had a penny for every time I said the word "the" I would have AIDS

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What's black and blue and hates sex? The ten year old in my trunk

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A white man, a black man and an asian walked into a bar. They got a drink and discussed multiple issues of the day and then went their seperate ways home.

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A zebra walks into bar, the surrounding customers in the bar become very intrigued why this exotic creature has wandered from Africa into New york. Before they can come to a concluson animal control opens fire on the creature, splatering its organs onto the tables. This event ruined the night for most customers and they fileout of the bar calmly but sad

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Knock knock. Whos there. Your landlord. Your landlord who? Bitch, i'm here with your eviction notice you haven't paid rent in weeks

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What did the Pedophile say to the small girl? I have served my sentence and been successfully rehabilitated. Please continue playing out in public without fear of being sexually assaulted.

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A red and blue penguin are taking showers. The red penguin can't find the soap so he yells down the hall to the blue penguin "Hey, where is my soap?" The blue penguin replies, "What do I look like a typewriter?"

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Why did the Fly die? Cause it died the average life span is 30 days.

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Double-whammy

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What's brown and sticky? A stick. What's white and sticky? A stick painted white.

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Why wouldn't anyone want Helen Kellers dog? It's been buried for a long time...

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What do Michael Jordan and Michael Jackson have in common? The same first name.

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What happens when you cross a Mexican and a Chinese man? A multiracial man.

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A man walks in to a bar, wakes up the next morning with the news that they have found a cancerous tumor in his neck.

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What did boy with now arms and no legs get for christmas A pogo-stick

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Why did the girl blush when she opened the fridge? Because she saw the salad dressing

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What's a dead baby look like? I don't know, I don't fap with my eyes open.

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What's brown and sticky? Molasses.

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Where is Sally hiding? She was kidnapped and has probably been murdered, I lied about her hiding.

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Q. What's the difference between a duck? A. An orange.

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Why did John break down in tears? Because he was molested as a child.

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Person 1 Hey man what's up Person 2 nothing much I just impregnated your mom

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops