What do cats eat for breakfast? Cat food.

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In Soviet Russia, it is usually cold throughout the year, as it is located in a colder region of the planet.

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1: What is a gum wrapper with no gum? 2: A wrapper? 1: No.

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How do you become a multi-trilionere? Get bored...

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If Jimmy in New York has 2 apples, and Tommy in Denver has 4 apples, what is the mass of the sun? 1.989E30 kg.

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Why did the computer load on facebook? Thats what you typed in.

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Yo mama's so fat that when she went to go get an x-ray, they had to use the one they have at the zoo.

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HITLER IS SO SEXY I WOULD PAY A MILLION DOLLARS TO HAVE SEX WITH HIS DEAD HOT BODY WHENEVER I THINK ABOUT HIM I SPRAY MY SEMEN ALL OVER MY JEWISH SLAVES YUMMY HITLER JUST MAKES ME WANT TO BITE HIS ROTTING PENIS OFF AND FORCE IT IN THE EYE SOCKET OF A JEWISH PERSON AND THEN I CUM IN HIS EYESOCKET

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so a black guy, an asian, and a scott are sitting at a bar, they drink responsibly, pay their tab, and leave. The evening couldn't have been more pleasant.

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There are 2 men are standing on the roof of a building, one of them jumps off, the other one is named Peter

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What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm? Being the worm.

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hi dave

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What happens when three blind mice go our looking for food? They die because of the mouse traps the owners have because they are tired of loosing food to the mice.

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What's worse than rape? Gang rape.

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Whats black and white and red all over? A chopped up dalmation...

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An old man walks into a bar. It was, a metal cylinder, not unlike a short carbon rod, and not the drinking establishment he normally frequents, named O'Malley's Pub and Eatery, which was, in fact, next to the the building with the protruding metal bar. He suffered greater injury than a younger man due to his advanced age and deteriorating health. But he did eventually recover by strictly adhering to his doctor's advice of bed rest, improved diet, and increased, yet moderate, aerobic exercise.

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A young boy walks into a catholic church, he attends mass, and leaves.

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Why is Harry Potter fake Because its a movie

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A man is in a bar with a drink A lorry driver come in a gulp the guys drink down The man starts crying the lorry driver says"don't cry I will buy you another" The guy says "it's not that: Today I woke up late for work and when I finally got there my boss fired me so I get in my car to go home and it wont start so I walk home while it's raining and when I got in I found that my wife was sleeping with the gardener so I came down here and asked for some poison and you went and drank it"

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What's the song that goes like, duh duh da duh duh duh da da do?

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Have you seen Stevie Wonders new house? no... Well, It's really nice. :)

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2 nuns were in a bathtub. One says to the other "Could you pass me the soap please?" The other replies, "What do you think I am, a radio?"

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hating his life and his job, the man leaves work early and while he is in the elavator he has thoughts about killing himself after returning to his apartment he turns on the TV and grabs his gun out of the drawer. sitting in a chair with a gun to his head he looks at the TV and realizes that his office building has just been hit by a 747 piloted by Al-Quida members. Suddenly the man realizes that maybe he has something to live for and decides not to kill himself.

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An incoming freshman introduces himself to his Ethics professor by saying, "What's up?" To which the professor responds, "You should never end a sentence with a preposition." The freshman, who is both clever and witty, quickly responds to his future Professor, saying: "Professor, I practice linguistic description, such that I observe language objectively in a way that does not adhere strictly to grammatical and syntactic dogma". The professor, surprised by the student's philosophical disposition, engages the student in a highly constructive dialogue about the philosophy of language, from which both the student and teacher learn more about each other and themselves.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops