Stephen Hawking walks into a bar

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was the little girl crying? She got raped by a giant scorpion.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Where did Susie go after the explosion? I don't know: she was nowhere near the explosion at the time that it happened. She probably got up to use the bathroom.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What the hell are you doing?

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Q: Why do black people drink Grape Soda? A: Because it queches their thirst, and satisfies them.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Tim: You wanna hear an anti-joke? Billy: Yes! Tim: Okay, I've got one for you Billy: Let's hear it! Tim: 1

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What would EARTH without ART be? EARTH, you dummy.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What is holocaust victim's favorite food? Hamburgers.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Kid One: "Hey, you! Do you know how to spell "I CUP'?" Kid Two: " Sure, F-A-G....G-O-T..." Kid One: ".........."

thumb_up thumb_down +8

how do you stop a baby from crying? hit it with a brick.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Tilt your screen back

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why doesnt your dad like barrack Obama? because your dad is straight, hes not into men

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's brown and sticky??? A brown stick

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did nearly headless nick say when he became headless nick. Nothing because he doesnt have a head

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was black.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What do you call a homosexual in a wheelchair? A cripple

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? A Jew is a person who practices the Jewish religion. A pizza is an italian dish consisting of dough, cheese, and tomato sauce.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Is your refrigerator running? Yes. That always nice, you dont want your dairy products to spoil.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Why did the hot blonde strip down? So she can take a shower

thumb_up thumb_down +8

A man walks into a bar with a monkey..I forget the rest but your mother is a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

why was the woman crying? her son killed 5 people.

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Three men are stranded, mid-ocean, in a small rowboat. They realize quickly that their imminent demise is slowly creeping into the forefront of their consciousnesses. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. A problem reared it's head as it became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore and, in turn, salvation. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Knock knock Whos there? A rapist. Go away I'm calling the police!! (The rapist then proceeds to break open the door, beat the woman repeatedly with a baseball bat, and then rapes her)

thumb_up thumb_down +8

What did the blind, deaf and dumb boy get for Christmas? Cancer

thumb_up thumb_down +8

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops