What did the farmer that lost his tractor say? Wheres my tractor?

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What's black and white and red all over? An embarrassed skunk.

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Why are women so obsessed with not having penises? I'm serious. Imagine an ordinary woman out there, who is not doing any of the activities that the women-not-having-penises thing is famous for. But I can pretty much guarantee that under her clothes at that very moment, she isn't having a penis. And for no good reason. Sometimes I suspect women keep up the no-penis thing even in their sleep. Frankly, I find that creepy. Why are women so obsessed with not having penises?

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Did you see my sandwitch? No. I am your sandwitch, and therefore no one thought to put me up to a mirror. Would you like me to? No. I have no eyes. And why are you talking to a sandwitch??? ...

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Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

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Why is the little boy sad? His parents died in a car crash.

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Call me Ishmael. Or don't. Well, you can, but I'm not forcing you. You could call me Steve or Bob, it's not really that important. I'm just around here anyway to tell about a huge white dick. A whale dick. A SPERM whale dick. Never mind. Or the guy whose obsessed with it. No, it's not what it sounds like. He just wants to stab it with his harpoon. Wait, that sounds even worse. Whatever. Anyway, call me Ishmael...

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A cowboy walks in to a bar and says to the guy behind the counter "Can I have a glass of water?". The bar tender shot a gun and missed the cowboy by an inch. The cowboy said thanks. Why? Because the cowboy had the hiccups

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Its true... Chuck Norris has no hair on his balls. Because hair doesnt grow on steel.

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An Aussie, a Mexican and an Asian walk into a bra. You read that wrong.

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What do you call a dumb friend? Sam.

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What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Nothing, he was a fish.

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Why doesnt the chicken wear any pants? His pecker is on his head

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What do you do when you eat a loaf of bread? You throw it up because your brother made it

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Roses are black, Violets are black, Trees are black, WHO BURNT MY GARDEN?!

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Roses are red Violets are blue We cant have sex I have ED

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a loaf of bread.

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Why do elephants have such big ears? So they can hear really well.

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I'd really wanted to design a car, and then craft some sort of prototype dream car and concepts but sadly, I can't even draw a straight line.

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Why did Hayden Bryant walk down the street? Because he can, dont doubt Hayden Bryant.

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What do you call a man that eats a sandwich? Hungry.

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Your momma so fat when she went to the beach she was to self concious and left her shirt on.

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Q: whats worse than finding out you failed an exam? A: finding out you where Hitler in a past life

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Q.Anti-jokes are funny? A.Depends on your opinion

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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