What did the goat say to the zebra? Nothing. Goats can't speak

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Whats red, and spins at fast speeds? A baby in a blender

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How many girls does ittake to screw in a lightbulb? Doesnt matter as long as dinner is on the table by 6:00

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How do you break up with a guy? you kick him in the nuts.

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what do you call a pie in a roll a roll and pie

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i walked into a bar, the bar tender for some reason said get out. the bartender did not realise that i was the #1 criminal in america. but why would he, i was in cuba. ( i was seven at the time)

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What Sound does a baby make in a blender? I don't know I'm to busy masturbating to it

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What did the commentor say when he saw the "waht's worse than finding a worm in your apple...the holocaust." joke? I am offended to your cruel referance to worms.

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Chuck Norris was once approached by a woman for whom he had to fight a man to obtain all while doing a mundane activity in an unorthodox manner. He promptly declined for he is married and told the man he only fights for self-defense. He proceeded to put his pants on one leg at a time like everybody else.

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if life give you lemons. put them in the fridge they should be there...

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Yo mama is so stupid that her IQ is relatively lower than the average.

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What did the guy say when he dropped his baby? "oh no!"

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Wanna hear a joke??... No...... oh ok :(

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One day, a mother was talking with her three daughters. "Mommy," the first one asked, "Why did you name me Daisy?" "Because when we took you home, a daisy petal fell on your head." "Mommy," the second one said, "Why did you name me Rose?" "Because when we took you home, a rose petal fell on your head." "MMMMBBBWWAAAAAAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!" the third daughter cried. She was born with severe cognitive damage and is incapable of coherent speech.

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HOLY SHIT, THIS ACTUALLY WORKS!! 1. Hold your breath? for 5 minutes. 2. Die

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What do Michael Jackson and most Catholic priests have in common? They're dead.

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Why could susan not get up? Because her limbs were hacked off by a African militia group.

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If I had a nickel for every time I heard that... I'd most likely have no money as I would spend it all on cocaine.

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Charmander is red,Squitle is blue,If you were a pokemon i'd choose you.

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Why did the cow cross the road? He was in the moooooooood.

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What do you call a large group of Chinese people on Mars? An extraordinary feat for the Chinese space program and a historic day in human history, where a particular country has set up the first human colony on another planet and we have proven to ourselves that our race is capable of interplanetary travel and can accomplish anything if we set our minds to it.

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Hey Jake can I use your lawnmower? Why Michael, so you can run over my cat like you did last night

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Like to tell patrick porcupine to stop gaming

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when your out of toilet paper what do you do? get more

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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