What do you call a shark on land A dead shark

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Do you like cheese? Yes. Okay.

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You know what sucks ? A vacuum.

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New mission: refuse this mission

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You mean I have to type in this little box? That's so embarrassing!

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Confucius says... The superior man, when resting in safety, does not forget that danger may come. When in a state of security he does not forget the possibility of ruin. When all is orderly, he does not forget that disorder may come. Thus his person is not endangered, and his States and all their clans are preserved.

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Why couldn't little Jimmy play catch with his dad? Because he was an orphan.

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How many cavemen does it take to change a lightbulb? A caveman wouldn't know what to do with a lightbulb.

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what did your mom say to you? go fuck your self you stupid greedy shit. you start crying later in your bedroom, then your mom comes with a bag full of your fathers semen, and dildos. and forces you to drink the entire bag.

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Once upon a time there was a king who had a daughter. She eventually grew up and contracted aids got run over by a bus and shit her pants..

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What is worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding Barney the purple dildo!

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How did the terrorist die? He flew a plane into a twin tower

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your mommas so fat she jumped for joy and got stuck

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A man walks into a bar After months of rehab he is giving in to his drinking abuse again and will ruin his life as well as his family

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how do you make a plumber cry? you pull its pants up

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Whats a never ending Opium for the stupid, mentally depraved un educated population? Christianity

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What do you get a when you cross a chocolate bar and some haribo? A disease complex characterized by persistent hyperglycemia caused by insufficient insulin production or resistance to the metabolic action of insulin. Diabetes mellitus (DM) is generally classified as insulin-dependent (IDDM, type I), non-insulin-dependent (NIDDM, type II), or secondary diabetes mellitus

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What does Malcolm X think about when hes horny? Sex!

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your Apple? Finding an apple in your worm

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8--------------------- penis

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Who is Jim Wonderbread? A whorrible person

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What did the Turkey say on Thanksgiving? Gobble gobble.

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Knock knock Who's there? Justin Bieber OH MY GOD REALLY?! No.

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knock knock come in ok!!!!! ur an elephant oh ya i guess im not suppose to talk!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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