Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

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10% of car thieves are left-handed. 80% of chimpanzees are left-handed. Therefore, if your car is stolen, there's an 8% chance a chimpanzee is responsible.

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The man was so nice It's too bad he couldn't hear the bus coming.

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whats the difference between a door knob? a milk carton, because people have legs so they can walk !!!!!

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What's worse than stepping on a piece of gum? A clown following you around all day throwing toothbrushes at you. ___ Zertop™

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A rapist, black guy, and a homophob walk into a bar and the bartender says nice game last night kobe.

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Why was lady crying? Because her ten yer old son died of cancer..

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Why couldnt the dog bark? The dog didnt exist.

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What was little Timmy's final words? I just want to go home.

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What do you call a gay Chinese math teacher? A gay Chinese math teacher.

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Why is my penis so small? No, seriously, can anyone tell me?

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what's the difference between 7 and 2? 5

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How do you make a retard make a sound like a dog? Douse him in gasoline and light him on fire. WOOF!

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? She had no arms.

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A man walked into the woods... Sorry, I forgot the rest of the joke...

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Two muffins were in an oven. One of them said, "It's sure hot in here!" The other muffin didn't respond because it's dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He actaully never did. He only made it half way before a cop issued him with an infringement notice for jaywalking.

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What is the anwer to life? (>^v^ )> KIRBY DANCE

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What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

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How many shots do you have to take to start feeling light-headed? Ask JFK.

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"What's up?" "A movie about an old man who takes his house to South America by tying balloons to it, who accidentally brings along a young boy with him and they have an adventure."

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You may notice something very odd about this paragraph. There is something strange although you can't figure it out. It is boggling your mind and keeping it from thinking of the real purpose of this paragraph. It is like an enigma in an enigma in an enigma in an enigma. Stop thinking hard and think inside Da Box. I just wasted your valuable time although it's not really valuable if your looking at this website.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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Why did the squirrel fall out the tree? It was dead Why did the second squirrel fall out the tree? It was stapled to the first squirrel Why did the the third squirrel fall out the tree? Peer pressure Why did the fourth squirrel fall out the tree? It thought it was a game Why did the tree fall over? It thought it was a squirrel Why did the postman die? He got hit in the head by four squirrels and a tree

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops